Another large family I despise

Warning- Parts of this post may offend those who may be neurotic, dramatic, selfish, or impatient. The rest of you, please keep reading.


Ok, so I don't despise the Duggar's, just read this post... I do have a few nice things to say.

But I do absolutely despise another large family in the public eye. Many of my large family friends seem to adore the cast of Jon and Kate plus 8 which airs almost constantly on TLC. I must be cut of a different cloth because honestly, to hear Kate's voice shrilling out of my tv speakers if I happen to have been watching something entertaining on TLC (which is a rarity, as the entire channel is full of crap generally) and forgot to turn the channel in time makes me want to stick hot pokers in my eardrums.

Now I have watched a few episodes. When it first aired those adorable kids made me want to like them, and again when other large familie moms would talk about the show, I really wanted to like them. I tried.

But I can't.

And it turns out I'm not the only one either. Check out this blog which is apparently written by the sister of a sister in law of the Gosselin's. And then there's this blog which is slightly annoying in it's detailed recaps of epidsodes, but redeems itself with the hilarious and accurate comments.

As I said, I wanted to like the show. I wanted to like this mother who was a bit of a kindred spirit. I myself can be slightly OCD, after all.

What I noticed the first time I watched the show is that Kate didn't seem to enjoy her children whatsoever. She was constantly annoyed by everything they did. Her behavior struck me as that of the toddlers she was chasing around, temper tantruming every time the need arose.

The children are quite ill behaved. But that's not surprising. No one reprimands their mother for her tantrums and they learn from her. Being dramatic is how Kate gets through the day, drawing the attention to herself when she feels too much is being paid to the kids. The kids have then learned to get attention in the same way.

It also surprised me how little patience Kate has for ANYTHING. Every other large family momma I have ever met oozes patience. I figure that's probably a combination of a couple of factors, Kate seems to have been the type who surrounded herself with people who are at her beck and call, princess syndrome as I call it. So she has a very big need for instant gratification. The second factor probably is that since her children were born pretty much at the same time she never LEARNED to be patient with a child.

And then there's Jon. Poor Jon. Everyone feels sorry for Jon. I tell you what, Jon needs to grow some kahunas. No man with an ounce of self respect would allow his wife to talk to him that way, ESPECIALLY in front of his children. Those poor boys are destined to grow up being walked all over themselves unless he steps up and teaches them how to be men. Is it any wonder those children treat each other the way they do? Fight like they do? They have their mother teaching them that it's ok to be nasty to whomever doesn't do your bidding, and their father teaching them that it's ok to be treated badly. So the children lash out instead of dealing with problems like civilized people, and cry like babies when someone lashes out at them.

Then you've got the fact that these parents think it's ok to exploit these children for monetary gain. The parents speak at various churches and venues and tell what is coming to light as outright lies to garner sympathy and cash from people. They sell photos of their children, they pimp their children to any company willing to pay the right price. It's disgusting. There's a difference between going on tv to tell your story and making a living off children who aren't old enough to decide for themselves. Sure, this happens all the time with child actors, but child actors go HOME where there aren't cameras after a days work.

And here's the part I'll get flamed for. Now I'll keep my personal opinions on assisted reproduction as a whole to myself, but I think it's all a bit rediculous that people see these kids as nothing short of amazing. If these sextuplets were a natural act of God It would be a miracle, if this family were blessed with twins and sextuplets through an act of God that would be amazing, and you know..... I would be interested then! But they weren't, they were the product of manipulation. Kate was given the fertility medication clomid and was hyperstimulated. Her doctor hospitalized her and refused to complete the next step, IUI or Intrauterine Insemination because she had many ripe follicles. John and Kate had sex anyway and 5 weeks later she was diagnosed pregnant with 6 live embryos and 1 that hadn't formed. That's not amazing, that's irresponsible.

All in all I cannot bring myself to enjoy any part of this show. I hope those children somehow grow up well adjusted people. Maybe some sponsor will offer Jon some testicles so he can become a man and show his boys how to be men. Maybe someday Kate can let go of some of her mental issues and let her children enjoy life and maybe, just MAYBE enjoy it with them. Or maybe some day the fans of this show will come to their own senses and stop supporting the exploitation of these children, although I fear what would happen if Kate were to parent those children without the eye of the camera on her to keep her in check. *shudder*

Sadly, these are the families that represent other large families. That represent other families with high order multiples.

Little girls

Sometimes our daughters are smarter than we take them for.

The other night watching tv with Hailey, a commercial came on the TV for Gardasil, the "cervical cancer" vaccine (which really "prevents" HPV, a common sexually transmitted disease). When my almost 13 year old daughter scrunches up her nose and says...

"Ugh, why do they want to shoot us up with stuff? Why not teach us about condoms instead? Or, here's an idea........... teach us to respect ourselves and not have sex!.... Sure, that stupid shot prevents HPV, but does it prevent HIV? or BABIES? NO, it just makes us think that if we get this shot we won't get cancer and die... so teenagers just think it's ok to have sex and not use condoms or anything because we are supposedly protected!"

After which she gets up, stomps to the kitchen and gets some chocolate, with me watching with my jaw hanging off my face. After a few minutes she comes back and says "sorry, I just get so MAD that they think teenagers are so DUMB".

All I could say was....... wow. Which made both of us crack up laughing. And no, my daughters will not be getting Gardasil, in case you were wondering;)

Momma, am I crooked?

Time is getting closer and closer. Shay and Nate's dr appt. Shay will have x-rays of her spine again and we will find out what her rate of progression is. Shay has jeuvenile thoracic scoliosis.

Most people know someone who has scoliosis. Some of us have it ourselves. We all remember bending over in phys ed while the school nurse looked and our backs. We remember that child that got pulled off to the side afterwords with a note to bring home to her mother. No big deal, right?

It depends. Some people are born with scoliosis or develop it before age 3. Infantile scoliosis. Those children generally outgrow it and are fine. Some children are diagnosed as teenagers. Those children generally end up with small spinal curves and go on to lead normal lives. Then there are those in the middle, the children with Jeuvenile scoliosis, these children face a much less favorable fight.

70% of children diagnosed with scoliosis between ages 3 and 10 will have curve progression requiring treatment. Half of those will require wearing a brace for years, half of them will require a very risky spinal surgery or risk heart and lung problems as the bones of the ribs are twisted into the very organs they are meant to protect.

Shaylin was diagnosed at age 6 at which time it was mentioned and the plan was the re-evaluate in a year. At age 7 the pediatrician noticed progression on visual examination and periodic x-rays were required. The problem is.... Shaylin is only beginning her time of rapid growth. Between now and age 13 she will grow immensly in height. This growth will put tremendous strain on a spine that is already bending, very likely causing it to bend more and more. Shaylin will spend her pre-teen years in a brace that goes from her armpits to her waist (under clothing) and may require surgery after she's done growing.

Time will tell if now is the time she gets her brace or if she is given more time. The brace will not fix any curving already done, rather hopefully prevent more severe curving while she grows. As of now her shoulders are visibly uneven, and her hips are becoming so every so slightly. She does not yet have the "hump" in her back that frequents the diagnosis.

It's one of those things that you never know what's right. You have to put faith in the doctors that she will get her brace when the time is right, and that she will be confident enough to deal with the questions and stares as she goes through the years of her life that are so very difficult on their own for a young girl.

So, I'm nervous as the time draws near for this appointment. I pray that her spine hasn't curved much if any this year.

Teenagers aren't that bad

As parents I think half our job is to mold and shape our children, and the other half is to be molded and shaped by them.

Lately I've been amazed at the growth in my 14 year old. This past year, even just this past few months he has grown up before my eyes. He is becoming a man and losing some of his irresponsibility, some of his selfishness. He's struggled in life. Been flip flopped from one parent's house to the next every other weekend. I still remember forcing him into the car and watching them drive off, him kicking and screaming. That killed me and I would drive home sobbing. His wishes have often gone unheard, as he was just a child.

But his wishes were and are just as important as ours. His father and I disagree on things when it comes to parenting him. Of course we do, we couldn't even make our relationship work. He thinks I'm to soft, I think he's too harsh. Often times I probably AM too soft, in an effort to balance the harshness of his ways.

Sometimes I fear he doesn't see Austin, really see him. The child who knows more about history than anyone I know, it amuses me because my father, who Austin has never met was a high school history teacher. The child who has helped his friend off drugs, off alchohol. In doing so he created a reputation for himself. Being judged by the company he kept and that was the risk he took to help his friend. The child who will wear a t-shirt to school that reads "my mom ROCKS" and not think twice, he's THAT confident. Sometimes I think his father misses out on who Austin is, constantly overshadowed by what he's not.

Austin hasn't always been easy to deal with, what with inheriting his fathers goofball nature and eagerness to amuse, even when it means getting himself into trouble. He has inherited some of the very traits that made the relationship with his father impossible. He has behaviors that make his teachers and his parents want to string him up by his earlobes to the flagpole until he comes to his senses.

Every parent teacher conference starts with "Austin is such a spunky boy with that smile that will melt your heart". I actually have to supress a giggle everytime I hear it because I know it will be followed by "but...." Austin struggles immensly in school. I often wondered if he'd ever learn, how he would pursue his passion of going to culinary school if he couldn't pass a class. Austin is the first person I've known to fail phys ed........ It has kept me up nights.

Until this past spring Austin showed me something that renewed my faith in him, calmed my fears, and made me realize that things were going to be ok. This walk with him was a walk that I will sometimes lead, sometimes follow, and sometimes walk beside him.

I had planned to homeschool Austin through the virtual school program. In preparation I had to give Austin an 11 page test, to figure out where his placement would be and what books we would order. I went page by page, making sure Austin understood what to do and leaving him to do it. It was that day I realized that my son is a VERY intelligent child. He had led us all to beleive for so long that he coulnd't and as it turned out he was paying attention all along. Even through the behaviors, the being asked to leave class, the detentions, the suspensions. HE GOT IT. All this time I didn't even think Austin could properly read, then I watched him write a 2,000 word essay with nearly perfect grammar. I thought Austin couldn't do math and then I watched him figure out equations like nobody's business.

It turned out all my son needed was some confidence. All he needed was to show someone, without pressure, that he wasn't an idiot. That he didn't need a "kick in the ass" like his dad mentioned at the last conference. He needed someone to beleive in him and support him. He didn't need me in his face telling him what he was doing wrong, he needed me to allow him the space to figure it out on his own.

It was a wow moment for me and I'm unsure why I hadn't realized it before. Austin learns like I do, his way. To this day I don't do algebra "right", however I'll get the right answer every time. In high school they decided I couldn't do algebra and gave up. In college they tried to teach me the "right way" and then conceded that my way WAS my right way. Austin knows what they are teaching him. Through all the giggling and paper throwing and comments and whatever, he's absorbing everything they are saying and really is unbelievably smart.

So this summer I've been working on supporting him and building his confidence in what he knows, no pressure. Sometimes I sit in awe listening to him tell his siblings about the attack on Pearl Harbor, or talk about the theories on how the moon was formed.

Austin and I have been developing a great relationship. We talk excitedly about his plans to start fresh in 9th grade in the fall in a new school. Public school is the right place for him, I now know that.

He does his chores without being asked and offers to do some of mine. He watches his siblings when I teach prenatal classes on Wednesday nights and refuses to take my money for doing so. He goes grocery shopping with me even though he hates it, because he wants to help. And best of all, he cooks with me... asking questions and itching to learn everything there is to know.

So, John.... I know you think I'm too soft on Austin. I know you think that I should be strict and harsh and demanding on him because that's the correct way to parent. But you know, when Austin tells me that he loves being home because it's calm and no one is yelling and screaming all the time, that tells me that maybe your way isn't really working as well as you think. Maybe your way is only serving to push Austin away.....

Oy

The roof is done, the roof is DONE! About frickin time! Poor Craig is just absolutely drained spending all his time off work on that roof then working a full week on top of it. Then to top it off he lost a cook this week and 2 more gave notice. Nice! Now we just hold our breath that it's done to the insurance company's liking.

We had some icky weather a few nights ago and amid all the chaos (I had 5 of my kids plus 2 friends spending the night plus my friend with her 6 kids and hubby over) my laptop screen got demolished. Oh well, at least I can hook it up to the pc monitor and still use it. Just means I have to cram everything I do online into the time when (if) Nate naps since the computer room is downstairs. I'll make it work.

We bought a new truck. My mom's boyfriend sold us his '89 Chevy 3/4 ton for dirt cheap. It has less than 100,000 miles on it. We didn't really need another vehicle but Craig has always wanted a truck and for all the crap we do it will be nice not to have to borrow a truck from someone all the time to haul this or that. It will also be nice not to have to pull trailers and such with my Suburban, we already had to replace the transfer case on that last year and I really hope we'll get another 5-8 years out of that truck. So it will be good. And hey, it's a vehicle NOT owned by the bank so it's a good step in the direction of our debt free goal. The Suburban will be paid off in no time and then the only debt we'll have is the car and the house! How awesome.

I did it

Last year a place opened near here called Faith's Lodge. It's a vacation spot for families with seriousely ill children or children who have died. I have finally filled out the application to go, just have to get the kids' doctor to sign the refferal form when we go on the 28th. So, a little prayer that we get accepted if you can spare! It would be great for the kids..... it would be great for all of us. We deserve a vacation where we don't have to worry about the cost of it I think. I'm not telling the kids until I know if we are accepted.. wouldn't want to dissapoint them.

A hard day's work

Craig and Dan replacing the shingles on our roof, Tuesday.


















Notice my hubby, scared of heights.... with the rope anchoring him securely to the chimney! Hehe

Shay's parade pics!

As the parade starts they do a fly over





































Here come Miss Photogenic and the winner of Best Dress in the 5 and 6 year old category!





























Nice Ride!




























Gosh, lookit all that candy....

Ok, next time they throw candy, RUN!

Go!!!!!

Who says princesses can't fight for candy in the street too?

Jackpot!

Love ya sista!

A close up of Shay's hair

How to make rag ringlets

As promised, a tutorial on how to make rag ringlets. Thank you sooo much to my fellow LF momma who told me about this! The girls love it.

Start by washing and LIGHTLY conditioning the hair. I'm just going to assume you all do this on a regular basis and do not need step by step pictorial instructions on this part. I'm also going to go way out on a limb and assume that you will be able to cut strips of fabric (old bedsheets work great) about 2 inches wide and about twice as long as the hair you'll be working with (you can trim later). Cut about 15, you may or may not use them all.

After you towel dry the hair, work some mousse or styling gel through it. I prefer Redken (my one non-frugal indulgence) but whatever you have will work. This step is very important especially when working with fine children's hair, without it your curls won't stay very long.

Then you'll need to decide how big or small you want your ringlets. The less hair you wrap in each rag, the tighter and smaller the curl will be.... keep in mind that although teenie tight ringlets are adorable, the more you have to wrap the longer this is all going to take. If you are working on a child, bigger is better because I guarantee you they will start complaining after about 36 seconds of sitting.

You can section the hair off and clip it if it makes you feel better, but I never do. Just try to make sure your sections each contain roughly the same amount of hair so your ringlets are the same size.

Lay your rag over the child's head with the halfway point of the rag at the part of the section of hair closest to the scalp.

Then begin wrapping the hair around the rag, spiraling from top to bottom. You will have some rag left at the end. Try not to twist the hair.

Once the hair is all wrapped around the rag you will be wrapping the other half of the rag down the hair from root to tip, around the hair. Make sure you wrap this part tight so your rags don't fall out in the night.

When you get to the end, tie the 2 ends of the rag in a knot. You might end up tying the last bit of hair in the knot, that's ok. You can now snip off the ends of the rag if you wish.

Repeat around the head and viola! A raggamuffin.

Notice I kept her natural part for a more natural look in the morning

In the morning carefully untie and unwrap each curl being careful not to pull the rag out. Spritz on a tiny bit of hairspray for a finishing hold. Then you can either leave the ringlets like this, Nellie Olson style or gently separate them with your fingers for poofy curls. Never, ever, use a brush or comb to separate the curls or you'll end up with frizz like no other.

Enjoy! If you try this I'd love to see pics! Feel free to share this tutorial on your blogs, message boards by posting a link to this post.

Another quickie

Nate's appt went well. His cataract has not grown but his vision in that eye is less than optimal. He is quite nearsighted in it. They don't want to remove the lens and put him through all that risk since the cataract itself is so small so they will see us again in 8 months where they will likely put him in glasses. They want to hold off a bit because I guess it's a lot easier to put a 2 year old in glasses than a 1 year old. I dunno, Austin was in glasses at 4 and it was quite a pita then... I'm releived.

I'm leaving in 15 minutes to drive 5 hours round trip to take Nate to the pediatric ophthamologist for his annual cataract check up. Please pray today that it hasn't grown and that he doesn't need the lens removed. Pray that his vision is good in that eye.

Also pray for my dear husband today. He's afraid of heights and will be on the roof of our 2 story house today shingling. yeeeek.

In other news, went out and got drunker than a skunk last night with some friends and Craig for my birthday (29 with 3 years experience) . It was a great time but I'm feeling it this morning......... almost puked taking my shot of mouthwash hehe!

Just in case

The rag ringlets post is coming, sorry! Someone hit the cable line in my neighborhood and never reported it which led to use not having tv, net, or phone for over 24 hours! I realized in that short 24 hours that I am NOT up to living as simply as I thought I was, because I felt so unbeleivably cut off from the world it made me want to cry...... well, not quite. But close.
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How many times have you said to yourself "Dagnabbit! I wish I could seduce one of those hot polygamist sect men that already have 4 wives, including my sister, but I just don't have a dress made out of a table cloth!"

Well ladies, a special treat for you. You can now, of have your VERY OWN tablecloth made dress. Sure to attract a slew of creepy old men who marry their first cousins! All for the bargain price of $48.07!

But wait, there's more! You can also, thanks to the wonderful women who put blood sweat and tears into these dresses purchase one for you, and one for your barely teenage daughter! Bring on those grandbabies/cousins/neices! Available in a variety of feminine colors such as Aqua, Peach, Lavender, and Lilac in a Poly/cotton blend. (Note: Colors subject to change pending availability of colors on the dollar Walmart fabric rack or clearance tablecloths at Goodwill)

And for the boys in your life, whom you strive to raise to be great little sexual predators just like daddy, there's the licensed FLDS overalls, trousers, and standard blue button up shirt that can also double as a prison uniform later! Talk about frugality. And for those cold days when the walk to the cult church is long, get yourself a pair of fashionable long underwear!

And coming soon to the FLDS dress website near you.... Hairstyling tips, A book: The easy way to make Tater Tot Hotdish for 20, and a 30 minute documentary on VHS entitiled "How to pimp out your daughter in 3 easy steps". (ok I made some of it up, sue me)

Things that make you go awwww

I am fortunate enough that although I live on town, the woods behind us allow us to get some nature in our little lot. It's very common to see bunnies and even deer in our backyard. But my favorite critter friends are all the birds that make their homes in the trees and bushes in my yard. A couple years back one of the kids made a bird house at school and we hung it up and they got to witness the life process from nest to eggs to hatchlings to flying babies by peering into that little hole in the birdhouse every day. It was quite an experience. The momma bird got so use to use peering in there she wasn't even bothered by it after a while, and I'm sure she was ever so grateful the day the wind blew the birdhouse down and we ever so gently picked up each egg and placed it back in the nest (It's a myth that birds won't return to the eggs if you leave your scent btw).

On monday my husband was tending to the yard and I was, well, sitting here doing nothing when he comes in and tells me there's a baby bird on the trampoline. Our trampoline is surrounded by a net to keep the children from ending up in wheelchairs (or try anyway) and the baby wasn't able to fly. I went out there and we tried to figure out what to do, we didn't want to interfere with nature but the poor thing was visibly upset and so were it's parents who kept swooping down from the nearby tree.

We decided to save the baby bird, wonderpets style. (or not lol but the song from that show kept going over and over in my head... "there's an animal in twuble, there's an animal in twuble!")

Much to our surprise the little thing just hopped right up on Craig's hand!

As soon as he got out of the trampoline it flew over to the nearby bush where mom and dad were waiting.

Check back tomorrow for a picture tutorial on rag ringlets (think Nellie on little house or Shirley Temple) that a friend on a message board introduced me too.

Pageant... the bad and ugly

Now that you've seen the good. My beautiful little girl in her beautiful dress having the time of her life feeling "prettier than Cinderella". It's time for the bad and the ugly of the whole thing. Rather than type it all out I'll share with you the letter that will be going to the owner of the company that put on the Pageant, formerly referred to Mrs Asshat in this post. I have removed the name of our town for obvious reasons and the name of the business.

Edited to add: I know there are typos, this is the rough draft of this letter hehe
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I felt the need to express my dissapointment in the direction of this pageant. This will be long but I hope I am given the final courtesy of it being read entirely. I also hope that this email is all it takes for these concerns to be addressed.

The things I write about are not just my issues, but the issues of most of the parents I spoke with as well although in this email I only speak for myself.

In past years, I'm told by the chamber of commerce, fees for the little miss were $10.00. This year we paid $35.00 initially which I did not have a problem with given what was promised. $35.00 seemed fitting to cover expenses of a pizza party, t-shirt and tennis shoes, professional photo shoot, etc.

Over the course of this event, however, i began to realize that we had been taken for a bit of a ride that wasn't anywhere near worth $35.00.

First there was the photo shoot. Thankfully my daughter looked quite lovely and I would later learn her picture wasn't half bad. We were informed that they would be fed while there and when I picked her up she was starving and informed me that they were given a tiny bit of sandwich is all. This was also confirmed by a mom who stayed for the event. I was irritated but chalked it up to miscalculation as to the amount of sandwiches needed or something. Later, when I saw the pictures that were taken of most of the girls I was apalled. Being a photographer myself, I can assure you I would have NEVER allow pictures like that to be printed, let alone be displayed. It's no wonder really that the photographer's watermark never appeared on them, I wouldn't take credit for those either. Another effort to cut costs I presume.

Being a busy parent I emailed and asked about the things mentioned when we signed up, such as the pizza party and for details on other aspects of the pageant in an effort to get some sort of idea the commitment so that I could plan. I received a curt email referring to a handbook (attached in a .pfd file thankfully) that was given on sign up night. Except no one ever got one. This is where I began to realize that the level of organization or professionalism wasn't quite what I would expect of a production company.

Then the pizza party. Again the children are not given enough to eat as I pick 3 of them up they all say they are starving. In the hall on the way out I hear other girls telling their own mothers the same. This time I'm quite irritated but again give the benefit of the doubt. Before leaving we are asked to sign up for the fundraiser. I am concerned about children as young as 3 or 4 being asked to play in a busy parking lot for 4+ hours just a few feet from the busiest road in town but assume there will be proper supervision. Of course there was not.

I show up with my daughter for the fundraiser with my cookies and cash to pay for my 6 pageant tickets. I return promptly at 1:30pm as asked and see an older girl (or maybe it was one of your team?) eating one of the cookies I had brought. I ask my daughter if she was given any of the snacks to eat and am told no. I guess I was under the impression that the baked goods were to be sold for profit for the organization, not for the older girls to eat. If that was the case I'd just as soon had them back. I decided to once again just let the issue go, after all my daughter had fun on the inflatables and her enjoying herself was worth the cost of buying cookies for others. I also begin to notice that this fundraiser served more as advertisement for (your company) than having anything to do with the city of (our town) . It's really no wonder the fundraisers didn't do well as such, people in this community love to give money, but not when it seems as though they are giving money simply to a business for profit under the disguise of something more . They would just as soon buy some cookies at the bakery and support a local business.

Then I learn from another mother that the event had been cancelled the next day so that only half the girls ever had the opportunity to play on the inflatables at all. At least one mother was never informed of the cancellation at all and the food she had prepared ended up waste and she drove around looking for the (your company) team with little girls who were very upset. When she finally got ahold of someone with your company she was told they didn't have her phone number. What? This information was on our girls' registration and was given every time we dropped our children off in case of emergency. They were never even given the courtesey of being offered a day of inflatables like the other girls had gotten.

Then we are invited to a parade on father's day. And our daughters get free time on inflatables. Ok great. A few days prior we recieve a confirmation phone call and my husband is told to "look for the people in the (your company) t-shirts" Wait a minute, I thought. Are we promoting the Miss (our town) pageant or (your company)? And why wouldn't we do the (neighboring town) parade? Since it's far more local and the support for the (our town) goings on will be far more supported there than (town over an hour away)? Oh, because the company is based in (town over an hour away) . Your clients come from there....... The whole idea of my daughter being exploited as advertising for (your company) left a bad taste in my mouth and we decided, instead, to go watch the parade in (neighboring town) that day.

Then it comes up to pageant time and that's when things really fell apart. The paper we received in the mail stated the dates June 24/June 25th. One would obviousely assume that we were to be there both those days at the designated time. Parents and backstage helpers took days off work and lost those wages in an effort to prepare for the pageant. Tuesday June 24th we get an email timestamped 2:22am stating that instead we are to sit around waiting for a phone call that may or may not come due to your company hosting some other party. Quite honestly that is plain rude and inconsiderate.

The phone call never comes so the next day it is. Some of the backstage helpers could not attend so it would make sense that the parents would attend in their place and then fill them in on the goings on so they could be prepared Friday night. Instead we are told multiple times to leave, that someone else could help our child. Now, in no other venue would I allow complete strangers, whom I have NO idea of their history, dress and undress my young daughter and by no means felt comfortable doing so here. I am quite disgusted that your company felt that was acceptable. What if a girl had been the victim of innapropriate conduct by the backstage helper of another? Was your company prepared to take responsibility for that?

My refusal to leave was not taken well. I fully intended however to follow the rule to stay out of the gymnasium, I was not there to get in the way. Until all of the other mothers/helpers were in the gymnasium and were not asked to leave. If they could watch, I could too. At this rehearsal (2 days before the pageant, no less) we receive a paper with the requirements of the outfits for our children. This required some parents to go and buy ANOTHER dress because the dresses they had purchased did not meet the length requirement.

We had been asked to provide shirt and shoe sizes for the t-shirts and tennis shoes. At this rehearsal we received a t-shirt and $2.00 Old Navy flip flops. I had given my daughter's shoe size of 2 1/2 and received a 12-13 flip flop. That's almost 3 FULL SIZES too small!

Fridays rehearsal was more of the same. I was told (not asked) to leave the premises no less than 4 times. One mom was nearly to the point of taking her daughter home altogether. I'm not entirely sure what kind of kick your staff gets from separating nervous little girls from their mothers. Thankfully my daughter is quite a confident child so that wasn't the issue but it most definitely was for others. Again I was told there were "enough backstage helpers to help her" and again I was not going to let strangers dress my child and couldn't beleive I was being told do to so. A friend of mine who is a police officer couldn't beleive it when I told him either.

The complete disregard for others was further evidenced by a staff member tearing a little girls' dress as it got stuck on the velcro on the stage. Care was taken to create that dress and she showed very little regard in yanking it off the velcro and thus tearing holes in the fabric. This mom to my knowledge never received an apology.

After Friday's rehearsal we realized we needed another ticket so my husband went to get one. Once there he was informed that there was a mistake in the program, our daughter's name had been switched with another. There was no time to fix it (understandably) so an announcement would be made regarding the error that night. No announcement was never made. Unfortunately I was unable to tell family members before they spent money on a program that ended up in the garbage later due to the mistake.

I also noticed that my daughter's last name was mis-spelled on everything. I'm not sure who decided that I had spelled her last name wrong and felt the need to change it. We had also been asked the correct pronounciation of the names and her last name was STILL pronounced wrong. It's not a difficult last name either, which is the interesting part. Most people can pronounce the word ever, which is, in fact, what the name begins with.

My daughter did win an award and her name was again mis-spelled (and mispronounced). Although all she received was a little card I think she deserved to at least have her name spelled right on it and asked for a corrected one and was informed that there were no more but if I wanted to I could email someone and have one sent to me. I would appreciate that.

On a bit of a humorous note, even though we are a small town most of us are at least slightly intelligent. Selling flowers 3 for $6 and 6 for $15 isn't going to add up to anyone who can do basic math. Did anyone really fall for this scam?

Add to it selling more tickets for parent seats than you had room for and picking and choosing who was allowed to vote for the Miss Photogenic awards (my entire family was allowed to vote, another moms family was told they could not), which seems quite honestly like you were trying to sway the vote.

When I walked into the school to show my daughter's backstage helper the way to the locker room I was confronted and told I could not. Fine, if someone else could. Then I was asked where I would be sitting and if I had purchased tickets, like I was being accused of sneaking in or something.


In my work I am often asked for recommendations on businesses like yours and I'm very sorry to say that I had hoped to be able to recommend (your company) , however instead I will have to spread the word... caveat emptor.

Whew! Pageant night is over, now we can all relax.

Thihs whole week has been pretty chaotic with dress rehearsal and finishing touches and then 2 hours of curling hair that fell almost immediately in the humidity, even with a half a can of rave on it. (yes, aerosol..... forgive me).

Shay looked absolutely beautiful. She really is a gorgeous little girl, and that's not just her biased momma talking. She did great, remembering everything from rehearsal and no wardrobe malfunctions occured (that I was informed of anyway, her auntie was backstage with her).

There were 3 age groups of the little girls, 3 and 4 year olds, 5 and 6 year olds, and 7 and 8 year olds. Each age group had 3 winning categories. Miss Photogenic, Best dress, and Miss (our town). The best dress was decided by the organization, the Miss (our town) was drawn randomly from a hat, and the only category to actually be voted on and judged by the public was Miss Photogenic. They had ballot boxes as you walked in with the photos the girls had taken at their photoshoot a couple months ago. Here is Shaylin's.

Of course I think she's extremely photogenic. As a mother and her regular photographer. So I was really happy when they announced her name as the winner of Miss Photogenic for her age group! Yay!

She didn't win the crown, and I think she was by FAR more ok with that than I was. She had a great time and loved feeling like a princess for a night and that's all she really seemed to care about. She is definitely one of the most mature 7 year olds I know.

Here are some more pics.

This is before she went outside and her hair fell. 2 hours with a curling iron for little blond ringlets. This is the first outfit they were to wear for the introductions.

Shay and her friend, Sevhannah. Who won Best Dress in her age group (5 and 6 yr olds)

Shay and her Aunt Jana who had the priveledge of sitting in a 90 degree locker room making sure we didn't have any wardrobe catastrophes. Thanks Jana!

The back of Shaylin's dress. I had to weave through the crowd chasing her down to get this pic. A princess doesn't have the time you know..... Never mind the hair, which by now was a mess because of the stupid weather.

And the front of her dress. Not bad for a dress her mom made (and NOT out of an old table cloth, mind you. We aren't the Duggars) You can't see in the picture very well but the top has black felted flowers and the bottom is covered with glitter.

The 2 most beatutiful girls ever to grace this earth. I know you all agree. The necklace Shay is playing with is a heart that says Alexander.

11:30 pm and still smiling. A true princess.

I can't even put words to this one

More about the pageant later. I don't want to cloud this post with the negative....

Just breathe

So, just call me supermom. haha! Ok not even close but I'm feeling very accomplished. Yesterday we had a complete change of heart on Shaylin's dress which had me tearing apart one dress and completely building a new dress in a much smaller size out of it. Ah the happy art of recycling. I love recycling clothes, it makes me feel so Martha Stewart-ish. And hey $5.00 for a dress that would probably sell in the store for $200+ isn't bad. The dress is drop dead gorgeous and as Shay and her dad agreed makes her look prettier than Cinderella. Unfortunately, unless you plan to attend the pageant you will have to wait until the weekend to see pictures of her in it. Ha!


Tonight is our first dress rehearsal (after waiting around for a phone call that never came yesterday, grrr!) and I"m sure Mrs Asshat pageant director (and I mean that in the nicest possible way) will have a billion things that we NEED to know that we NEEDED to know months ago to throw at us. As far as I know these little girls have 3 dress changes. THREE! The gowns, the "summery" outfit, and the matching t-shirts and shoes that they took sizes for a month ago. But who knows about that? Cause they don't tell us anything.

I had given up soda until yesterday when the stress induced by this complete pageant chaos was made me begin to think I needed some whiskey. I think the soda is a safer choice. Then again, there's still time in the week for the whiskey.

Then on top of it all we are suppose to get severe storms for the next 3 days. I am absolutely terrified of severe weather. In Wisconsin when a tornado comes you lose your whole damn town.

Speaking of the weather, we had some more proof yesterday that the big man upstairs is listening. You see the shingles on our roof are curling. The insurance company told us we needed to have them replaced by yesterday or they wouldn't be renewing our policy (eeeeeeeek), well since we don't use credit that meant saving the money. We had the money saved by the beginning of May and an old friend of Craig's said he would do it for us right after he came back into town the second week of June. Ok, cutting it close but it'll do. The price is right. Well, the weekend he was suppose to be back we called, and kept calling, and kept calling, and kept leaving messages. Finally yesterday Craig gets ahold of someone who informs us that the guy moved away and they don't have (or aren't sharing) his contact information! OMG.

So in a state of panic I told Craig to go to the insurance company and get down on his knees and beg for an extension. He did and thankfully they gave us another month to get it done. WHEW. We now have a new guy willing to do it, one of Craig's employees that use to do roofing. Let's hope it gets done this time. Craig's going to help, no easy feat since he's deathly terrified of heights.... poor guy.

Completely unprovoked

If you are one of those people who feel sorry for kids from big families, who think they could never possibly be fullfilled sharing their parents and belongings, I give you the unprovoked conversation between my 10 year old son and I. He walked up to me as I was making dinner and said:

Chris: Thanks mom!
Me: For what?
Chris: For giving me this big house to live in
Me: oh, you're welcome
Chris: And for giving me so many brothers and sisters to play with
Me: You're very welcome

I know, you wish he were yours

Now I know why pageant moms are catty!

Ok, so I signed Shaylin up for the Little miss pageant for our little city. I thought it was a neat, non competetive ordeal, a chance for Shay to really get to be a girly girl and if she won, added bonus. I would never sign her up for a competetive pageant but since the winners name is simply drawn from a hat, this one seemed fine.

Until....

The person running the pageant owns a DJ/party business in a nearby town. The fact that they aren't local kind of bugged me, but what the heck. Well it turns out this woman is basically using our little girls as advertising for her business. I even heard, when a mom asked why the girls needed to be at a bake sale if they weren't selling the response "because people love little girls and then they come". Probably true, but when everything is plastered with the name of the woman's business on it, ICK.

This is suppose to be something promoting our town, and it's not. We are asked to shell out money, provide goods, and spend tons on clothes all to put a buck in this woman's pocket.

To make matters worse she is EXTREMELY unorganized. The first night she didn't give anyone any information and then when I emailed her about things was standofish in her email stating that it was all in the handbook, which she NEVER gave anyone. One of the moms didn't even know they needed an evening gown until I told her a few weeks ago. Then today I get an email timestamped 2:22 am that we might have dress rehearsal today or tomorrow, basically we are to sit around the phone and wait for them to decide if they are having a company party for their business or not, if not they will call us and we are REQUIRED to be at rehearsal. So we have to schedule life around their work, yet they have no consideration for anyone else's job or life or goings on?

My sister is Shaylin's backstage helper for the pageant and due to work and living 2 hours away will not be able to attend the rehearsals. It's impossible for her to get off work at a moments notice and I wouldn't expect her to.

Craig mentioned pulling Shaylin out but the clothes are purchased, the fees paid, the baked goods provided, tickets purchased, and a little girl's excitement growing. That's not an option. But I do intend to give this woman a peice of my mind, maybe I'll write a letter to the editor haha!

As sad as it is to say I'm hoping Shay has fun but is not picked to be the winner. I would hate to be bound to exploiting my daughter for the benefit of this woman's business. I have no problem with promoting our city, but someone's business in another county entirely.

I'm sure i'll overload you with pictures of her all dolled up this weekend!

Weekends are for pictures! 6/21/08

Insurance faux pas

So, I was reading tonight a blurb from an online aquaintence regarding a letter she recieved in the mail today. June 19th.... JUNE. She was diagnosed with breast cancer 6 months ago and has been through chemotherapy and had both of her breasts removed and today she got a letter from the facility she had a mammogram at in JANUARY letting her know that her test was abnormal and she should come in for further testing. She found it hilarious.

It reminded me of a couple notices we got from our insurance company when Alex was sick. The night Alex was born he was transported by ambulance 100+ miles to a hospital with a NICU where a plan of action was made while he was stabalized. 2 days later he was flown via hospital plane to the University of MN for further treatment to save his life. At this time a tiny syringe and a ventilator were keeping him alive.

A couple weeks later, while living in a tiny room at the Ronald McDonald House we received a letter from our insurance company. The letter stated that they would be denying coverage for Alexander's flight because it was not "pre- approved" and "non emergent". Because you know we always charter private jets to get around. Not even a medical helicopter is good enough for people of our stature, it must be a private plane with a NICU team aboard. Apparently I should have called my insurance company before I gave birth and notified them that I intended to have a baby and that sometimes things go wrong so could we just pre-approve everything that might happen now? Maybe we could just pre-approve everything that could possibly happen to me or one of my family members in our lifetimes, then we will be covered. Ok?

Then upon Alex's 2nd surgery at 8 days old the little unfortunate soul somehow ended up with a splenic rupture. The doc was in the OR for hours replacing blood loss and trying to get it to clot up, what with all the heparin they were pumping into the kid.

My insurance company, not being one to miss a chance to bill someone else sent us a letter a couple weeks later asking if Alexander's spleen injury was a work related accident. No, I replied. We generally don't send our babies into the workforce at 8 days old, 10 maybe but not 8. Also, he most definitely would have taken the day off work that day, with having open heart surgery and all.

The third came a couple weeks after Alex died. Having heard that the boy had been stricken with a Cardiac arrest they quickly sent us brochures in the mail. Well, they sent Alex brochures, after all the envelope was addressed to him. Being his mother I figured it was ok to open his mail, fraud be damned. The ever so thoughtful insurance company, being very pro-active in preventative care sent 2 brochures to my son. 1 giving him tips on how to lower his cholesterol, the other entitled "How to avoid a second heart attack". Bless them.

Who can blame them, after all, they probably choked on the million dollar doctor bill the boy incurred and couldn't afford to pay attention.

Post a comment if you have a humorous (even if it wasn't at the time) insurance faux pas story!

Not really much to blog about. We've had some great weather here lately and have been spending time outside, riding bikes, and just hanging out. I love summer!

Austin is at his dad's house for 2 weeks camping. In their new RV. How nice. I want a new RV..... or maybe just the child support I'm owed, whichever. Or hey, maybe the granite counter tops he gave his wife for Christmas.... I'd take those too. So when they asked if Austin could come I was all for it, damn right he's going to get to use the new camper! It never ceases to amaze me just how much a guy who's "so broke I can't hardly pay my employees" can buy. I wish I was THAT kind of broke!

I can't beleive June is over half over already. I can't wait til the 4th of July, our town always has a big parade and stuff, it's fun. Hopefully we don't have a repeat of last year's parade events which involved an unconcious child, EMT's and a trip to the emergency room, I could do without all that excitement.

Speaking of, it's been a while since I updated on Christian. He's doing pretty well. He had a GI appt in April and the GI was pleased that the Prevacid and Lactaid had seemed to help Chris tremendousely in the pain department. We are still unsure why he's so little and why he's not gaining weight but the GI is going to follow him every 6 months for a while and watch what his height and weight does. So I guess it's as good as we can hope for right now.

Nate has to see the ophthamologist on the 7th for his yearly cataract appt. I'm sooo hoping it hasn't grown at all. That eye likes to cross when he looks up which makes me nervous that the cataract is interfering with the vision some, although I don't know why it would have that effect. The doc seemed confident at our visit last year that he would do fine and not need lens replacement, I'm hoping he's right. Although at that time he also said that he couldn't even really see the cataract until his eyes were dilated and the ped that admitted him saw it right away so that makes me think it must be bigger, I guess we'll find out on the 7th. I'm dreading the appointment because they really have to look at that eye and I know Nathan is going to fight tooth and nail. Last year was a challenge and he was only 4 months old.

I hear Nate crying through the monitor. My cue that me time is officially over.