Passion and drama

So, things have been busy. I love busy. I am actually resigning my post as in home daycare provider as of tomorrow at 5pm. I am getting so busy with things on the Doula front and with the hospital that I need to free up some time, that and my dear husband is becoming increasingly burned out with the daycare kids thing.

I've been teaching prenatal classes and I absolutely love it. ADORE it. It's sooo much fun and very rewarding. I haven't said too much about my job (can you call something you love that much a job?) because I don't want anyone to get the wrong impression. My job allows me the utmost freedom. On a "busy" month I will work about 9 days in total. a few classes, some meetings, some time at the hospital and a few client births thrown in the mix. It definitely allows me the best of both worlds. I have a grown up life with a career I love, but I get to be mom first and foremost. Craig asked me the other day if we won the lottery would I still work and the answer was a resounding-don't even have to think about it- YES.

Moving on. Yesterday my dear daughter had some issues at school with her feelings being deeply hurt by a school staff member. Upon returning home from putting my foot up a couple butts (figuratively of course) I was invited to a chat conference with my old P1 gals. Well, there are a couple girls that frequent that chat that have extremely low self esteem and insecurities and as insecure people they view strong, passionate people as a threat and I could say the sky was blue and they would disagree and argue about it. I'm use to that.

So, I'm talking about how angry I was that my daughter was treated badly and her feelings were hurt and true to form one of them comments that drama seems to follow me. I responded that drama doesn't follow me. And she then commented that she was glad her life was boring.....

I'll stop here to address that part. How sad a life it would be if my life were boring. I'm thrilled that my life is anything BUT boring. When someone says to me that their life is boring I immediately feel sorry for them and those around them. To me, a boring life means you have stopped being passionate about it and quite frankly, are failing to live it. This is especially sad when you have children because I walk around every day in absolute awe and excitement over the things they do, say, and learn. If your life is boring and you have kids, you aren't taking advantage of the excitement that they bring just being them. The children miss out on a lot when the very people in thier lives that they want to make happy, are unable to be excited about them. It makes me sad and I often wonder how any parent could say thier life is boring when children around!

I said as much, in fewer words of course and she responded by saying that what she meant was something along the lines of not getting heated over "every little thing"....

This made me even more sad! When you view something like the given situation, a child's feelings, spirit, and happiness as "every little thing" you really HAVE given up. I will never see these things as little and I will never stop being passionate about their right to be treated fairly, to be respected, and to have and express the same feelings and emotions adults do. The difference with kids sometimes is that while adults can let things roll off our backs, children often haven't yet mastered that ability...... especially in middle school.

This person, I worry about her more than one virtual stranger should. Every comment makes me more and more sad. I cannot imagine for a second feeling bored with my life, not hurting right along with my child when she's hurting. Using everything another person says as a personal attack on myself or arguing for the sake of arguing. I hope she finds passion and directs it toward something meaningful. Passion is a good thing. Call it drama, call it what you will. Passion means you are alive and you care and I certainly hope I never, EVER lose that.

Anyway, I was attempting to let the children finish the school year in public school but I think the time has come for my daughter to leave that caustic environment and come home, where she belongs.

As far as our homsechooling plans. We are fortunate that our school district offers a Virtual school homeschool option. It is homeschooling, but within the district and all materials are provided free of charge. The kids are still then able to participate in things like phys ed, art, music, extra curricular activities and whatever else through the district if they so choose. I think we are going to give it a try next school year. It doesn't fit entirely, and I have a few concerns but it also fills in some of the insecurities I was having about homeschooling. So, that for the moment is the plan.