A Hailey-ism

So, My darling teenage daughter calls me a minute ago from her cell phone. A glimpse at the mind of a 13 year old.

Hailey: Mom, guess what? (that's how she starts every conversation)

Me: What?

Hailey: I just figured out that I can put my whole fist in my mouth

Me: *silence*

Hailey: I really can.

Me: uh, that's great.....

Hailey: Grandma told me I should try to put my foot in my mouth

Me: Hailey you put your foot in your mouth all the time

Hailey: I do not!

Me: *laughs*

Hailey: ................ huh? I don't get it

God love her.

A Jack-ism

Me: Ugh, the stupid basement door is sticking again
(as it often does as the summer humidity makes this old house swell and creek)

Jack: Mom, you just have to knee-butt it

We all got a good chuckle out of that. Jack.... not so much.