Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Fluoride is poison

We are at the dentist with jack and chris. No doubt well have round 12,435 about why we don't give our kids poison... Er..... Fluoride.

Later taking Hailey to the dr to get a brace for her knee. Last night was her first track meet and she did awesome despite knee pain and a horrid stomach cramp and a team member who was a bit on the slow side ( in this politically correct world of keeping kids on teams whether they are any good or not). She got first in hurdles, the 1 by 400 relay and the 800. Unfortunately the slower girl ram 3rd in the second 400 and we were in 6th but Hailey as anchor got them to 3rd. My girl rocks! Pics of that to come.

For now I leave you with her always adorable little brother.

Update: As predicted, no cavities.... Right before the doctor came in the hygeinist said "I assume no fluoride for Jack either?" Nope. "Well, it DOES help prevent cavities, and you admitted he doesn't brush that great, kids who don't get fluoride usually have a bunch of cavities by his age so he'll probably have some since he's never had it (we even use reverse osmosis filters to remove it remember).
So the doc comes in and looks at his teeth and says "no cavities! But your kids NEVER have cavities so I'm not surprised" LMAO

-- Post From My iPhone

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

What is the point of prayer?

Craig and I went on a mini vacation a few days ago. It was a blast and Captain Morgan and Jose Cuervo tried to kill me, no lie. Thankfully my husband was there to put the kibosh on anything drunken related (how can he still be level headed with 16 shots and Lyrica in him?) We SO need to get away like that more often. I think next time we'll bring some friends so we don't end up sitting in the hotel bar spilling our life story to random strangers, but it was fun.

Shaylin is doing well. We were nervous about leaving her but she did ok. She's eating well again, still tires out quickly but I'm not expecting that to go away quickly, knowing how Mono works.

So, onto my exploration of my faith. As the title says, I've been thinking a lot about what prayer is, and why we do it. Then yesterday a friend sent me a sappy make you cry type email and I called her after I watched it and we contemplated the meaning of life, er, prayer.

I don't think many people use prayer as it was intended. I think prayer is a chat with God. A conversation of speaking and then listening just as we do with any other conversation.

So why, when someone is ill for instance, do we incorporate prayer chains and get on our knees and beg God to do our will?

You see, the way I see it, if God is who I've been taught he is. It's not really a popularity contest. A single person or a group of thousands isn't going to matter, is it? I mean, does God really hold contests and say "ok, if 15,000 people ask me to save this child, I will. Well no, it's not like that. So why do we recruit our friends, family, and strangers to pray for us in our time of need?

I've even noticed at family dinners people say things like "Bless this food and blah blah blah". Well, what if God doesn't WANT to bless our food? What if he has already decided that we are going to get a whopping case of salmonella from our eggs, is the fact that we ask him not to going to change anything? Is God just going to say "well, since you asked...." or, on the flipside if we DON'T pray for our food is God going to say "well, you didn't pray for your food to be blessed, so now you are going to vomit for 2 days".

I think many of us pray and it means nothing. It's just a simple ritual we do because it's what we have always been taught to do, just as we get out of bed and brush our teeth. Honestly our teeth don't really care if we brush them at 7am or at 9am.

Here's what I think. Stop jamming up the God airwaves with meaningless things, then maybe when we really need something it will get through.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Global warming shwarming

I have to wonder if the folks all bent out of shape about global warming have ever set foot in Northern Wisconsin at about 6am in January. Because if the -30 to -40 degrees we had all too often this past winter (not including windchill mind you) is global warming I will fire up my coal engine and say BRING IT ON!

In case you have never felt -30 degree temperatures here's a little bit of a description of the average January morning.

Alarm goes off at 5:45. Consider hitting the snooze again but realize your car needs to run for at least 30 minutes or you'll likely die before you reach the stop sign.

Throw some clothes on (dirties from the night before will do) and drudge upstairs.

Find tennis shoes, coat, and a hat. Consider putting socks on your hands as some gloves and eye the barbie scarf hanging the entry way as a fitting fashion accesory.

Bundle up and fish keys out of coat pocket. Point door clicker out the window and hope the battery in it is still sufficient to reach the 30 feet to the car. It isn't. Cuss out loud wishing you had invested in that remote starter.

Push the blanket blocking the draft from coming in order the door away and notice an apparently immediate 32 degree drop in the temperature of the room. Consider quitting your job.

Take a deep breath because living in Wisconsin you know full well that the minute you step outside all the breath will forcefully be sucked out of your lungs anyway.

Open the door and bolt out before you change your mind. Half run to the car and pull the door handle immediatelly feeling the frostbite hit your fingers and making them burn.

Lean into the car while finding the ignition, quite certain that if you actually were to sit down your butt would be permanently frozen to the interior of the car and you would just die that way, in the driveway in about 36 seconds.

Turn the key as snow falls off the lilac bush branch above you square onto your head.

Cuss outloud again as you hear the car try to turn over while it cusses itself and sounds more like a 1902 crank engine than a modern peice of machinery.

Finally it turns over. Turn the defrost on full blast, slam the door and run back into the house. Given only a second to worry if someone might steal your car while it sits running and then deciding you just don't really care.

Run back into the house, strip off the coat that is now doing nothing more than keeping the cold air from outside against your skin. Throw it on the floor, cussing again.

Go back downstairs and Tell your husband that you just simply don't CARE that the school only called a 2 hour delay in classes. Those kids will NOT be attending today.

Go into the bathroom, look in the mirror and decide your hair can survive one more day in a ponytail, because you remember all too well the girl in Junior high who went outside with a wet head and her hair literally froze and BROKE OFF. I'm not kidding either.

Go back upstairs and turn on the news while putting your shoes on. Decide it's better to turn it off than hear words like "record breaking cold" and "arctic freeze" But give a laugh when you see the map say it's 20 degrees in Florida.... suckers.

Stand there for a minute remember how warm 20 degrees would feel today. Swimsuit weather.

Get your coat and shoes on. Make sure your phone is in your coat pocket because you know if you crashed you'd have very little time to grab your phone and dial a number before your fingers fell right the frick off.

Glance out the door and see that your car is still in the driveway. Damn. Where are the criminals when you need them.

Move the "draft blanket" away from the door again and run outside. You realize you forgot to inhale before leaving the house and find it hard to catch your breath.

Get in the car, shut the door and spray the washer fluid to try to get the rest of the ice to break up. Then realize that the windshield wipers won't move. Get out of the car again and try to break the ice holding them down up for a half second until your are quite certain one of your fingers DID in fact break right the frick off. Get back in the car and rev the engine to warm it up enough to blow some warm air.

Finally after the shivering has stopped and hypothermia has begun to set in there's a hole in the ice about the size of your fist to see through. Decide that's good enough and drive with your nose as close to the glass as possible for maximum view. Then realize that your breath is fogging up the window more and decide that not seeing anything is a better alternative than ceasing to breathe to keep the window clear.

About halfway to work the car is finally warm and the amnesia begins to set in. The amnesia is important because with out it, just as mothers would never give birth a second time, you wouldn't again be able to bring yourself to get out of the car.

Get to work and circle the lot for the best parking spot. Of course there isn't one so you decide to just park, after all the amnesia is telling you it's not THAT bad.

Get out of your car and press the lock button on the keyring as your car beeps a beep that sounds a little like "what? You are leaving my ass out here?!" And walk away. Yes, I'm leaving your ass out here. Survival of the fittest my friend. Giggle for a moment while you realize you are so delirious you are talking to your car. Let out a small scream as your teeth freeze from opening your mouth during the giggle.

Walk to the building with your ears burning, your snot frozen. You can feel the ice crystals forming on your eyeballs as the "arctic chill" of a wind blows in your face.

Walk into the building. Take your coat off and say "Little nippy out there this morning, eh?"

Cause this is Wisconsin and as miserable as this all sounds.... you'll do it all again tomorrow. Because you're stupid. But not as stupid as those people who beleive in global warming.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Iphone 3G review

I'm a HUGE fan of product reviews. I spend a lot of time (or not so much in the case of the impulse buy) researching products before I buy them. I do this because, well, I'm not rich y'all.

But the problem I have with a lot of product reviews, especially those that are written about electronics, just simply don't make any damn sense. No sense at all. See, I'm not really interested in how many gigapods or megapans are in it. Really, when it comes to storage space just answer me this question, "about how many pictures can I fit on this thing?" If the answer is "more than you'll need to" then I'm pretty much good.

I also love gadgets. So the Iphone was right up my alley. A combination of a PDA, a phone, an ipod, and a picture viewer sent me straight into busy mommy bliss.

But the price sent me into convulsions.

So I waited until I saw a sign stating that the Iphone 3G was $199 with a 2 year contract. And I jumped on it.

Now this was for the 8g phone and a second of panic washed over me. Would I be able to put a couple thousand pictures on it? The guy assured me that unless I was downloading poster size pictures I wouldn't have any trouble. So that decided it.

Now, I've had my Iphone for about 6 weeks. And I tell you, i L-O-V-E it. I love that it's pretty much geared toward the tech stupid in that everything has a picture. Just touch the picture and it takes you where you need to go. I also love that it has the REAL internet. If you are still using a phone with WAP internet you are most definitely not getting much out of it. Being able to type in a url and go to a web page that I can identify and meneuver around is priceless.

Another plus is having the ability to check my email with the push of a button. My phone Pushes (which apparently means it goes and gets my emails when I get a new one) and tells me when I have a new one. I find checking and deleting my overly abundant junkmail so simple on the Iphone I rarely use my actual computer for this purpose anymore. just tap the message and tap delete. It creatively shows the email being squished and dumped into a trash can even, which is oddly rewarding.

And then there's the apps. There are many free and inexpensive apps to choose from. Apps that turn your phone into a flashlight, a dog whistle (which I promptly required my husband delete from his phone..... apparently I have dog hearing), even a light saber so you can re-enact your favorite Star Wars episode with your friends.

Can't get through the day without knowing your horoscope? There's an app for that. Need to blog, facebook, twitter, or Yahoo messenger? There are apps for that. Need to diagnose your latest medical problem or find alternative treatments for ingrown toenails? Yep, an app for that.
The possibilities are endless and with just a tap, the app appears on your main screen for anytime access.

Itunes has come a long way too. I remember years ago when my son got his first Ipod shuffle, Itunes made me loathe everything MP3. But the newest version of Itunes is much more user friendly.

Wi-fi. Although withe the Iphone plan you'll get unlimited web time. The Iphone will also search for Wi-fi spots and alert you when you are able to steal someone else's signal. When connected to wi-fi your internet will run faster, so I encourage you to make use of it.

The bad? MMS messaging, or lack thereof. I cannot understand for the life of me why, in the age of the forward spam text, a sophisticated peice of techonology like the Iphone doesn't have the ability to send and receive picture messages. If you send me a picture message not only will I not get it, but I won't even know I didn't get it. So if you sent me a picture of your adorable kid, dog, or toenail polish and I didn't respond? Blame the Iphone. Fortunately? Yep, that's right.... There's an App for that! I have not downloaded it but have heard that it puts the picture on a url that you can click on to receive it. Me? I'd just rather you email it to me, where I can access it right from my phone.

Something else the incurable multi-tasker like myself will hate? Only one app can be running at a time. This is frustrating for me, since when I'm on the computer there are no less than 6 minimized pages going at all times. On the Iphone it's one at a time baby. Facebooking and get a text message? Sorry, you'll have to choose which to continue.

Oh, and another thing. Don't let the 3G thing fool ya. 3G isn't available everywhere (as a matter of fact, in Wisconsin you'll only access it in about the lower 1/8th of the state.

There are definitely things that the next Iphone version can improve upon. But my Iphone has become a huge asset to my busy life and I wouldn't trade it for a Blackberry if you paid me.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

The drama of the sick child

Ok, so these are just my thoughts, the thoughts of a mother who has lost her child.

As I've mentioned about 86 times. I read a lot of blogs. A lot of the blogs I read are of parents who have buried a child. Most of those blogs I didn't come to after the child died, but while the child was still with them, fighting for life. I am drawn to these blogs because I've lived that life. I've lived that rollercoaster.

I've also noticed that a lot of these blogs have huge readerships. HUGE. Which is great because the more people supporting these families, the better.

Unfortunately I've also noticed that when the child dies, so does the readership.

Why is that? Are people caught up in the drama of the minute to minute life or death rollercoaster ride of the critically ill child, and when the child dies, just as suddenly so does the excitment?

It saddens me to my core. Please realize that the roller coaster does not end for the family because their child has died. The roller coaster continues for a very long time. Maybe forever.

Blog readers are an interesting breed

It just goes to show that as a blogger it's so very hard to know what people are interested in reading. Now, I write mainly for my own benefit (I'm a bit selfish like that), but I also like to write things that I think people want to know about too.

In looking through my site stats I've noticed something I never would have guessed. THIS POST on how to make Rag Ringlets Nellie Olson style is by FAR the most visited, most google found post on my blog. This post all by itself gets dozens of hits per day. Really?

This Post, which shows pictures of Lyme Disease in my daughter is a close second. Which is really ok with me because it's such an important topic, but sometimes you all surprise me.

But This post, on Breastfeeding, is probably my personal favorite.

Anyway. Just a little interesting.

Tomorrow Craig and I leave for our mini grown up only vacation. Ok, so it's a business trip, a food show. But a night away from the kidlets in a hotel all by ourselves doesn't happen often, so it's as much a vacation as anything. And hey, spending a day walking around sampling food isn't really my idea of work, so it's all good.

Did I just say It's all good? Good lord am I getting old.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Stress. Post traumatic and otherwise.

So to say I spent a stressfull night is an understatement. A big one at that.

After a night of fitfull sleep I headed off to work. Shay felt like she wanted to go to school and who was I to tell her she couldn't, the poor girl who loves school and hasn't been able to attend in a week. So I do her hair and take a look at her rash that is still ever present and wish them all a good day and head off. On the way leaving her teacher a lengthy voicemail.

I get to work and call the clinic and ask them give a message to Dr K's nurse to please call me with the CBC results even though I knew the Lyme titer wouldn't be back yet.

And I wait. And wait. And wait.

I'm pretty sure there's some rule I'm not privy to at clinics that demand nurses wait until a parent is certifiably mental before they call with important test results. All day everytime the phone rang I'd jump on it, only to be irritated when it wasn't the call my every breath was waiting on.

Finally at 2pm she calls. She apologizes for the delay (she was only adhering to the 'stress out the patients mother' code of delay of course) and tells me that the doc hadn't commented on the test results until now.

She informs me that the CBC showed that her WBC is still low, as are her platelets and that her liver enzymes are elevated which the doctor has decided is suggestive of......


My first gut instinct was that she was entirely wrong. However one of the things you lose when you have gone through having a critically ill child and then burying that child is the ability to trust your gut instinct when your child is sick. The difference between a parent who is blissfully ignorant and the parent who has lived in the PICU is that to the blissfully ignorant parent a rash is chicken pox, to a former PICU parent a rash is meningitis. To the blissfully ignorant parent a stubborn fever is a virus, to a former PICU parent a stubborn fever is leukemia. It's called Post Traumatic Stress. And I'm not sure I'll ever recover from it.

So, unable to trust my gut instinct I am left with the only feasable option. Trusting my doctor who sees that rashes are rarely meningitis and fevers are rarely leukemia. And I watch and I wait and I swear to god if that child so much as trips when she's walking I'm taking her to the ER and not leaving until someone does more tests, or gives me high doses of Xanax.

Oh, and the Lyme Titer was negative. Surprise.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009


So, a little something I didn't mention about Shay's ER visit was that her CBC came back with her WBC (White blood count) and Platelets low and her CRP (C-reactive protein) was elevated.

We had a follow up with her Ped today at 11. Craig took her temp early this morning and it was normal for once! unfortunately it was back up to 102.2 when we started getting ready at 9 (now day 7 of this thing) so I gave her some more motrin. While brushing her hair I noticed her chest was covered with a rash, upon looking more it's her chest, belly, and back and a bit on her face. It actually made me feel better thinking "good, now we have something the doc can look at, identify, and this will be over".

We get to the doc and the nurse notices just how absolutely pale she is, and how sunken her eyes are. Doc comes in and I give her the rundown of the past week and she asks Shay to get up on the exam table, noticing she's definitely NOT bouncing around as usual.

I notice how the doc pays careful attention to checking all her lymph nodes and feeling her belly. She looks at the rash and says "doesn't LOOK like a strep rash..... definitely doesn't fit a Lyme rash" but decides to run both tests anyway. She mentions her "really low" WBC and Platelet counts. She swabs Shay's throat which of course sends Shay over her limit (the child who usually tolerates everything with the greatest finesse) and she buries her head in her hands sobbing. Doc, who NEVER gives kids suckers must've felt bad cause she offered her one, which Shaylin declined by refusing to remove her hands from her teary face. The doctor leaves the room with a look on her face I've only see once before.... When she found Nate's heart murmer, almost a year to the month after we buried our Alex with a heart defect.

The nurse comes in a bit later with a sad look on her face and tells us the Strep was negative again (it was in the ER too), how sad that we all hoped for a positive strep test! So down to lab we go, all of us desperately hoping for a rebound of those blood counts.

Down to lab we go for them to poke my sweet girl once again. After about 15 minutes of visually looking for a decent vein and finding nothing the brave needle yielding lady decided to just decides to go for it with the one that looks like a maybe. She was very gentle with her digging, a gesture that was completely lost on my sobbing 8 year old who is doing her best to squeeze the thing in her hand to try to pump up her itty bitty blood vessels. Finally success! The needle yeilding lady collects a rediculousely large amount of blood, which I figure was a plot to get more than she needed, so as not to stick this poor child again. She hands Shay and Nate both suckers and gives Shay so many stickers that after filling the front of her own shirt she filled Nate's too.

Now we wait. The chance that it's Lyme is minute, it's not tick season yet and this is not how Shay presented before with Lyme. But we hope for Lyme because Dr. Google tells me that the most probable alternative is more than I think I can bear....

Will you all please say a little prayer to whoever it is you credit for miracles that my sweet baby girl doesn't have what my heart won't let me stop thinking about?

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Spring sickies.

The weather has been absolutely beautiful lately. Almost makes you forget how awful winter was. Unfortunately there's been little chance to enjoy it, with me covering for sick co-workers and the sickies making their way around my own house.

Wednesday Shaylin came down with it, puking her guts up. Rather than just getting over it she's been hanging onto it. And yesterday after waking up to day 5 with fever and nausea I decided to bring her in. My 1 day off and I got to spend it at work anyway.

Get her there and she can't give a urine sample, and can't remember the last time she was able to go. So she got a lovely IV in her hand. Which was very traumatic. They had to run blood cultures which requires taking blood from 2 sites. Got the blood out of the IV line and then couldn't get the other one. Finally called in a guy from the lab to stick her who had a hell of a time finding any veins that were good (from the dehydration) but he was finally able to get it. Shay was so good, poor kid. She cried and cried and fought at first but finally just gave in and closed her eyes and put on her brave face, through the snuffling of leftover tears.

Her labs came back and showed that she was really dry (which we knew) and had 2+ ketones in her urine from her body breaking down it's own fats, having not eaten in days but doc said it look viral... not much they could do. Told us to follow up with her Ped on wed to make sure she's turning the corner with this.

She felt a bit better after the fluids but today still has the fever. She was able to eat a bit today, a step in the right direction.

Soon after we got home from the ER I got it. Man do I hate puking! Went into work this morning and was strongly encouraged to just go home and sleep, and that's what I did. I'm still feeling pretty crappy but at least the puking has stopped. I would much rather drive a wooden stake into my head than puke, no kidding.

Thanks for the comments on my last post. It was nice to read your perspectives and I appreciated them all.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

I don't get it

Ok, so it's no secret I've been REALLY struggling with my faith, or lack thereof, as of late. I guess it's probably a good thing that I struggle with it, as that has to mean I haven't given up on it entirely, right?

But, I just find myself bitter and angry. You see, it seems I can't see someone who carries their faith in front of them during times of struggle and not feel angry. What am I angry for? What does it matter to me?

I've been thinking about this a lot over the past few days and I think I've realized it. I really just feel like God let me down. Dropped me on my ass. Then kicked dog poop in my face while I was down. That's how I feel.

I get angry when I see people's faith because I always think "Yeah, just wait.... wait until the child you are so wholeheartedly praying will get better doesn't, then what"

Because that's what happened to me. I prayed and begged and loved that child with everything my soul had to offer and he died. MY CHILD DIED and went away FOREVER. And yours could too.

Or maybe it's a person who HAS lost the good fight, yet they continue to praise God over and over. I find myself with a huff thinking Why? Why bother? God could have spared you that pain but he didn't. Your child could be running and playing RIGHT NOW but he isn't. So how can you praise and thank God? The being who had the choice in whether or not that child lived or died? How?

To me it's the same as if some stranger on the street held a gun to your child's head and you begged and pleaded for him not to do it and he did it anyway.... would you praise HIM? Because I am not really seeing any difference.

I just don't get it. I think sometimes people just pray and pray and pray and hold out hope because they really don't know anything else to do. It's true when you are faced with decisions that are THAT FAR beyond your control you try to hold on to something that you feel you CAN do. And I guess that's ok if it serves that purpose in your life. When you are so far down that you need just one thing to hope for, I suppose it's ok for God to be that saving grace you cling to.

And I was like that. I didn't KNOW what else to do. I was so unbeleivably helpless that at least the faith that God could preform a miracle got me through the day. But then, when the dust settled and I realized that hope was gone, what's the point?


Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Extended rear facing

At 2 and Still happy. You'd think it was his lazy boy.

-- Post From My iPhone

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Dear mommy

I gotta share what Alex (through his daddy) wrote me on his third birthday January 28 th.

Dear mommy,

Today is a day I know makes you very sad. Every day I look down on you and see your pain, I only wish I could take that away and make you feel better. When I look at you I know how much of a great mommy you are and how much you love mr, I love you too!

I felt your love every day when you held my hand or rubbed my head, admiring my great hair, something dad wishes he had. Her her.

I think you are a great mommy to my brothers and sisters, and I love them too.

I might not be there physically but spiritually I am always with you and in your heart...... Always.

Grandpa, grandpa, and all our other relatives are here watching over me and to be honest with you...... I like to make them chase me around and try to keep me out of trouble.... Ha ha, that will never happen.

I know we will be together again when you're done taking care of my brothers and sisters. Don't ever give up hope and remember, I will always love you!


Don't tell grandpa I snuck away to write this, he doesn't understand these new things called computers. "farm finagaling techno thingamabobbers" as he calls them;)

-- Post From My iPhone

I know I said I wouldn't

But I did. You see, I found it utterly reduculous that I had to resort to having twitter AND facebook over there in my sidebar because twitter didn't post actual pics and facebook was slow and cut off my updates. So, I bought an iPhone app for my blog so I can blog when I am inspired instead of having to wait til I'm home because usually by then my inspiration is gone. Plus being able to show you all pics of what were doing AS were doing it is priceless.

So I forked over my whopping $2.99 and bought BlogPress app. So far I'm liking it.

And just to make sure it does what I need it to... I give you a price I've entitled "biker look gone wrong".

And my cutie in his new specs " that the damn dog already chewed on)

-- Post From My iPhone

Wanna see something grossely awesome?

K, Big warning here. If you are at all queasy at the sight of blood and gore please do not venture off where my linkage will take you. If you have an aversion to all things medical, better just go about your business elsewhere. But if you, like me, have a skewed perspective on gory and unusual, please by all means go check out what mamahen's boy did to himself. Because this is just too creepy not to share.

What has become of the blog

I think I mentioned that I seriousely puffy heart blogs. I frequently search out new blogs to add to my list of reads. Blogs give you a glimpse into someone's life, people share things on blogs they may never discuss with a group of people face to face.

But let me tell you what I hate. I hate clicking on a blog link and being confronted with so many ads, gadgets, and other junk that without a little searching and crossing and uncrossing your eyes a few times you can't even find the BLOG in the blog!

Now I find no fault with those who do their best to bring in a little revenue from their blog or who desire huge numbers of readers per day. But seriousely? Bring the blog back people!

It also seems that when otherwise wonderful bloggers get caught up in the ads and gadgets and junk something is lost in their writing. Suddenly they are very censored and politically correct and boring.

It's sad I tell you. Sad

Or maybe you think I'm completely off base and love a blog with lots of ads to click and product reviews and what-not.... I don't know. Tell me about your blog preferences, I'd love to hear em!

Friday, April 3, 2009

For all of us moms of cute kids!

Ok, so I know there will be someone who's child walked, talked, and ate steak with their 6 teeth at 1 month old that will be offended by this, but this is for the rest of us.

I use to have this friend who compared EVERYTHING about our kids. Her kids always walked sooner, talked sooner, ate strained vegetables sooner. To hear it, you'd think they were reciting their ABC's at birth and penned their first memoir just in time for their first birthday. This friend was always doing her best to make me feel that my children weren't up to par because they walked "late", talked "late", etc. I long ago became comfortable with them hitting these milestones when they were perfectly ready to do so, but admittedly felt that mama bear twinge at every "MY child should show YOUR child how to do it" she muttered.

So, while listening to the radio yesterday I had to laugh. I laughed so hard my Dr pepper came straight out my nose. which stings y'all (but not as bad as tequila, which is a story for another day). I laughed so hard I had tears in my eyes and my makeup smeared so bad I was a hot mess all day long. But it was worth it.

The guy on the radio talked about this research project that was done in some remote safari or something off the coast of Africa. He noticed that the ugly offspring in any given litter seemed to become independant sooner than the attractive offspring, and offspring of less attractive parents (who were as such less than Ideal themselves) became independant sooner than the attractive offspring of attractive parents.

He also noticed that uglier offspring tended to be pushed out of the nest sooner than attractive offspring and were the last to be moved to safety in the event of a predator approaching.

He surmised that these ugly offspring, by some genetic prompt, became independant sooner because of the risk of being abandoned by their parents.

So, the next time someone else's kid is walking at 9 months and yours is still happily crawling? You can turn and walk away with a smile, knowing it's because your kid is cuter.