frazzled

Just took a Klonopin, figured while I wait for it to kick in i'd blog a little and clear my head.  That sounds great, but really I have nothing to say.  Just a million things floating around my brain irritating me.

I have a client that is being very demanding even though she got more than she paid for to start with, Craig is going through some crazy med reaction that is really difficult on both of us....The prozac still makes me sleep way more than any normal person should which means I don't get as much done in my waking hours as I plan to.  Just a bit frustrated.

Thankfully I have found an unlikely friend this summer who has been just what I needed.  She calms me when I'm riled up instead of fueling the fire which I really need.  We have a blast doing nothing at all, and she's become a great addition to my life.

I'm taking baby steps.  Some days they feel like gigantic steps and other days they feel like tiny shuffles and some days I hit bumps and backslide a little, but I think all in all I'm doing much better.  The anger isn't there all the time like it was, the panic isn't a constant presence either.  I like it.

A whole lotta ...

So my blog publishes to Facebook.  I have it set up that way to keep those who are FB friends in the loop without them having to come all the way over here to mom of many.  Funny thing is, FB doesn't publish my blog posts til like a week later. lol how dumb.  So if you are reading this on FB, it may or may not be current news.

Let's see.  So in some exciting,crazy, wtfareyouthinking news today is my first day back at school.  I am a Bachelors of Science-Photography major at the Art institute of Pittsburgh online devision.  How insane.  Photography has always been my passion so I'm very excited to learn the ins and outs.  I'm thinking maybe photojournalism in my future, wouldn't that be fun?  I love portraiture too though so we'll see.  I'll be in school a while, plenty of time to figure it out.

In other crazy news, we have expanded our family by 2.  No, not human babies.  Furbabies.  Ostara is a 4 month old kitty and Bella is a 2 year old purebred German Shepherd.  After quite an adjustment period they are both fitting in nicely.  Bella is very protective of us and loves the whole family already.

Bella and Hailey.

Ostara


In other news Shaylin had her yearly x-rays for her scoliosis and does not yet need a brace!  It's been so nice to hear that year after year, I hope our luck holds out with it.

I am doing great on my meds.  We have increased my anti-depressant dose and as such i'm needing less and less klonopin, which I love because the klonopin makes me so groggy.  I need a half a klonopin to sleep and pop a half a one in extremely stressfull situations but I have gone from using it around the clock to being on an "as needed" basis, which is ideal.

The kids go back to school on the first and everyone is VERY ready!!!  Poor Nate is going to have a hard time with being the only one not to go to school I'm afraid,  but hopefully we can fill his days with activities and keep him so busy he doesn't care.

wow

So, here's a bit of tmi.  For the first time in many years I started birth control yesterday.  Not because we wouldn't welcome another child with open arms, that will never be the case I don't think.  But because the medications I am on to get ME right can seriousely harm a developing baby.  Any baby that comes into our family deserves A: to be as healthy as he or she can be and B: have a mother who has her issues under control.  nuff said.


So my midwife gave me the bill you hear about on tv, Seasonique or whatever it's called.  Hello 4 periods a year! I can handle that!  In the past the pill (as well as pregnancy) has kicked up my depression so we may have to play some more with my Prozac dose but I'm on a mission to find ME again and I think I'm taking the right steps to do it, and facing some of my fears in the process.