Friday, August 12, 2011

What to do when CPS comes to your door. Part two. You are STILL in control

Continued from

So now the initial visit with your significant other is complete and the CPS worker wants to meet your children.  And you really start shaking in your boots and want to throw up on her shoes.  Again, remain calm and play the game.

"Sure Mrs. Duck.  This week is pretty busy for us but I would be happy to set up a time for you to meet my children, how does the end of next week sound?

If you've set her at ease with the first visit she may accept waiting.  You NEED to get yourself some time here at all costs.  Because the minute she leaves you are going to get on the phone with your pediatrician and have the children fully examined.  I don't care WHAT the allegation is, a FULL examination is needed, you don't know what they are going to make up later.  Make an appointment for the kids and at the appointment explain to the Pediatrician that there has been a frivolous report to CPS and you would like your children examined and it thoroughly documented.  This includes checking their private parts, I know that's invasive but you want your bases covered and your kids trust their doctor.  You'd rather have THEIR doctor doing it than some stranger in the ER when CPS has it done.  Then tell the pediatrician that you will be by tomorrow to pick up a copy of her notes.  

If it's during the time of year your kids are in school you also need to GO to the school and speak with the receptionist, the school nurse, and the children's teachers.  You dont' need to tell them what is going on, just tell them that if ANYONE, and you mean ANYONE, even a government agent comes to speak with your children at school they must call you.  Print a copy of your state's CPS laws on this and bring it with you.  (Most school officials believe they have to turn a child over to CPS for questioning, they DO NOT.  And YOU need to inform them.  Again if you need help finding this information please let me know.

Now, it gets sticky because if CPS has not had an opportunity to see the children and the allegations are of a serious nature they may say "i'm sorry, but I need to see the children tonight and make sure they are not in immediate danger nor have been abused recently".   

It's sticky because right now, if she feels the children may be in danger she can exercise "exigent" reasoning to have your children removed, today.  *shudder*.  Thank goodness laws have very much tightened on them with some big court cases (see Gates. VS. TDCFS links below) but they still have the power to yank, then prove so walk lightly.

If she says this, this is not defeat.  YOU are STILL in CONTROL.

"Ok Mrs. Duck.  I can understand that and would very much like you to see that my children are healthy and happy."  As you know, my children are currently at a friend's, and it's almost lunch time so how about I pick them up and meet you at XYZ restaurant and we can chat while we have a little lunch, on me?"

She won't like this for a couple of reasons, #1 being that you are showing her YOU are in control and she has very little.  She may agree or disagree to this, likely she will disagree and state that next week is fine.  The reasoning for this is you want her to see the kids in neutral territory with as many people around as possible.  ALL of those people become witnesses later.  You want that.

As I said she'll probably not like that and agree to next week as discussed.  BUT, this MAY be a ploy to gain back control.  Watch out.  There are two ways you can proceed and I would suggest the first one.

After she leaves you go in the house and pack an overnight bag for your family, then you pick your kids up and go stay with a friend (NOT a family member, too easy to find you) for the night.  If she's going to cite "exigent circumstances" and yank your kids she's going to do it in the next few hours.  
Or simply leave your kids at the trusted friends' house for the night while you and your husband stay home.  

OR, you can call their bluff which can be dangerous.  

You can get your kids and stay home.  And wait for the CPS worker and the Sherriff to show up.  Contrary to what you may think, she DOES NOT NEED A WARRANT TO YANK YOUR KIDS!  I dont care what anybody tells you, I repeat, SHE DOES NOT NEED A WARRANT TO YANK YOUR KIDS!  

So leave for the night, or until you feel safe.  However keep in contact with her so she doesn't suspect that you fled the country.  A simple "Hi this is Mrs. Smith, I'm just confirming our meeting for Thursday May 24th at 9am at XYZ, please call me back at 343-7ii-2345"  Will suffice.  


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