Friday, May 9, 2008

No, it's not a secret club

So, I've had people coming out of the woodwork today asking me if I knew Michelle Duggar is pregnant with #18. If you are unaware of this family (cause you live in a cave or something) please visit, and then come back.

For starters. This large family thing isn't some big club. We don't know each other or have family dinners (I don't even like tater tot hotdish thank you) or have dress making parties or what-not. So Michelle Duggar herself did not call me to announce her pregnancy, I found out on the internet like everyone else and I have the same information you do. So you can stop pm'ing and emailing me about it, thanks.

As always when Mrs. Duggar announces a pregnancy which as her eldest son said when he heard the news "well yeah, it's been 9 months...... that's about right" the internet goes crazy. For some reason this woman announcing her pregnancy to the world becomes her personal open invitation for everyone to decide what is best for her family. And maybe it is, since they are so very public about their lives. But in turn, it also becomes an open invitation for the world to judge the rest of us as well.

It seems everyone has this strange idea that all large family households are like the Duggars. That we make frumpy dresses that match and wear girl-mullets and don't use carseats properly and don't make a point to eat particularly healthy (did I mention I don't even like tater tot hotdish?). That we have husbands named Jim-bob and follow some strange naming scheme and hold church services in our living room and homeschool our children and build houses with our bare hands and drive buses. They assume that we force our innocent children to become mothers to their younger siblings by the age of 7 or 8 and make them cook and clean while their brothers hunt and gather for the family.

As much as I must say the Duggars do have some great family values, they seem very loving and I admire their debt free way of life I really HATE that they are the model for large families! Where was the application process to sign up for this and why wasn't there a vote? Because this family, as sweet as their J-name, matching clothes wearing, girl-mullet way of life is, is NOT YOUR AVERAGE LARGE FAMILY!!!

They are also NOT a good example of quiverfull living. Michelle weans her babies early in an effort to regain her fertility. This does NOT fit with the quiverfull way of doing things. We do not prevent pregnancy and we take no steps to promote it. We have......... er....... marital relations when we feel like it with no thought as to the outcome (isn't that great and liberating? lol). We allow our babies to self wean and our fertility to return naturally as such. On average this will result in pregnancy every 2-3 years, the average quiverfull family has SIX children.... not even close to 18!

So please, not only do I not know Michelle Duggar personally and call her for baking tips. I also do not so much appreciate being compared to her or having it assumed that people with large families, or who beleive in the quiverfull way of life are in some way emulating this woman and her husband.

I am truly happy for them and their 18th blessing. They DO represent a loving, seeminly happy, self sufficient large family. Congrats Duggars. And might I suggest the other 25 letters of the alphabet?


D&A+5 said...

I love it! Thanks for clearing that up.

maryellenlewis said...

Amen Sistah! What is a tater tot?

militarywifey said...

This is what I have heard from QF people about the Duggar family, that they are a grave misrepresentation of the QF movement. Am I the only one here who is disturbed at the fact that Michelle Duggar weans her baby early so she can have another? Am I the only one disturbed at the fact that the kids know that exactly 9 months from the last baby's birth she usually tends to be pregnant with the next child?

This all strikes me as kind of strange, to tell you the truth. I mean if you are QF that's your decision (I have never felt that conviction, personally and I could never really just "enjoy" myself with my husband with there being a good possibility of me getting pregnant when I'm not ready yet). But I don't think the Duggars are really so much "letting God decide" as much as they are trying to get God to work in their favor of outbreeding everyone else.

Trishy4Him said...

I brought up the fact on another message board that Michelle Duggar weaned early so she CAN get pregnant...she does NOT get pregnant breastfeeding, and weans early but my comments were misunderstood. I'm glad you cleared those things up on this blog. I think QF is great. It is this misrepresentation of it that is not.

Anonymous said...

Girl mullets! hahahahahaha..... that's hilarious! :) Yes, it's too bad that the Duggar's are the only model for the world to see about large families.

I saw your link on BBC. I'm a mom of soon to be 5. I'm not quiverfull, but I have some opinions about BC that are different than most of the population.

Here's my blog:

And for the record I loathe tater tot casserole too. :)


Karen Sherrill said...

For your information Michelle does not wean her children just to have another one... sometimes she gets pregnant while she is still nursing... other times the baby weans its self. They let the Lord decide how big their family will be. I'm sorry you feel the way you do about the Dugger family, but saying mean things about them without even knowing them is just rude.

Anonymous said...

I think this woman is disturbed. My grandmother had 9 children because of her Roman Catholicism, but all my aunts and my mother have her personality although they had 3 or less children apiece. But my grandmother was a "martyr" type much like Michelle and was a classic narcissist as well as possibly had that Munchausen Syndrome. She never physically made my aunts and uncles sick, but rather emotionally was manipulative so she could always be the saint and they the undeserving children who were lucky to be in the world. Michelle seems to fit this. I would bet Michelle had a priviledged childhood where she had lots of attention and material things so she's fine. But her children have got to feel like part of a litter and anonymous. They are also exploited to do ALL the cooking, cleaning, laundry, schooling, etc...since Michelle is always pregnant and cooking would make her feel sick (the aroma), she gets to take it easy. I think the father has been roped into this through Michelle's manipulation. I hope the children can seriously "ween" themselves away from that family and not have that many children. My mom only had me and my two sisters and yet she bitched about us constantly even though we were always honor students, never got into trouble, had no physical/mental problems...because she was mimicing my grandmother's behavior. I pity Michelle who is seriously nutty.