Saturday, May 3, 2008

I don't get it

So, with all my babies i join online message boards to talk to other people due when I am. It's a great way to keep up with the new things pregnancy brings (can we eat tuna now? or no?) and to offer some of my wisdom (yeah right) and get some in return.

I am realizing that there is something I will never understand about Obstetricians. Why do they feel the need to torture their patients? Do they get some twisted thrill out of it? I can't fault the women for this, they are, after all, worried new mommies. Some of them have had miscarriages, chemical pregnancies, blighted ova. They hang onto any bit of information they can get and hope it's a sign of good things to come. That's moms for ya.

But these doctors, these sick folks running some kind of funhouse and playing with emotions. They have these women come in days after getting a positive pregnancy test. They draw blood every 2 days, do transvaginal ultrasounds (sounds fun, eh?) and just basically stir stress in these women who should be making a point to AVOID stress. These women walk around with sets of numbers in their heads in a constant state of asking "are the numbers good?" "your numbers aren't like my numbers, does that mean I'm miscarrying?" they couldn't see a fetal pole at 5 weeks 3 days, is my baby ok?

It's just maddening, it's maddening for me so I can only imagine how it must feel for them. These pregnancies, are for all intents and purposes most likely just fine but these women are made to worry by the numbers, by the pictures on the screen. They compare this and that when as little as 24 hours difference in ovulation and implantation times can mean a different picture on the ultrasounds screen, can mean a 2,000 digit difference in "normal" numbers.

Why? Why bother? I ask? I haven't met ONE woman who is reassured by anything they see on these early ultrasounds or by these early HCG counts. They always come back asking the questions, loaded with worry. "We saw the baby but the heartrate was only 112, is that bad?" or "my HCG didn't double in the last 48 hours, but it's still really high, but i'm worried i'll miscarry cause it didn't double". They are not reassured by any of this, they only worry more. And even if, God forbid, the baby is not doing well or implantation did not go well, what is knowing your HCG number going to change? They cannot save your baby, spare you the pain of miscarrying, so how is this helping anyone?

Meanwhile I sit in ignorant bliss. Could my baby be in trouble? Sure. But for all I know my HCG number is right where it should be and my baby is firmly implanted in my uterus. He/she may not be, but I have no reason to doubt that he/she is because nothing has given me a reason to doubt in God's beauty and perfection. Maybe I will miscarry, and that would be very sad. But even if that were to happen at least I get these weeks of ignorantly thinking my baby is probably ok. I get these weeks not of stressing myself out over numbers and pictures and heartrates, but of thinking of that tiny baby forming a nose and eyes in there right now. I'm not going to change the outcome, but I can change how much turmoil I have in my life.

If it was something that could change the outcome ti would be different. But it isn't. And it saddens me that these women are put through this. And to the women who "demand" ultrasounds at 6 weeks, why put yourself through that? Sure, if you really are 6+ weeks you will likely see a little baby with a perfect beating heart, but if that baby implanted a little later, or you ovulated a few days later than you thought you may not see anything, then you are setting yourself up for so much worry you didn't need.

Sometimes, ignorance is certainly bliss.


lilpeasinmypodfrom~God said...

I couldnt agree more, i have had 4 ignorant and beautiful pregnancies and 3 daunting, number counting, horrific pregnancies, 2 of which ended in m/c and i hate every minute of them. I wont do it again! Next time, its sweet ignorant bliss:)

Mandie from Dec 08 said...

I kinda agree with you. I had a m/c in February, with no numbers, us, blah blah blah....this time I had my numbers drawn twice, very early on, and that's been it...yes i've wanted to have them done again, but I changed my mind b/c like You I decided that it was better if I didn't know....I think we obsess mostly b/c most of us tried so hard to get to this ob won't do an us until 11 weeks, and while I agree with that, I would like one sooner, i don't think it'll happen I think some people make like a game of obsessions and others don't, and some are in the middle...I am in the middle :)

VelvetMinxx said...

Hi! No way - I had a chemical pregnancy and then another m/c the next cycle. I was a nervous wreck when I got my news this time.

A quick beta set and my mind was at ease - finally, a pregnancy that looked good! I'll admit I wasn't totally happy until I saw the heartbeat a few weeks later, but it was big & strong so I'm finally relaxing and enjoying myself.

Thank GOD for my sweet doc who babies me at every step. If they had denied me all that, I'd still be in tears waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Just my opinion!


- Jenna from Dec EC

Blair said...

Thank you. I needed this today. I just found your blog via baby center. Have you read the book Supernatural Childbirth by Jackie Mize? I'd love to have you read it and post a blog about it!