Wednesday, September 29, 2010

I have my life back

Yeah so I suck at blogging lately.  But I'm thinking that may actually be a good thing.  You see for so long I relied on this blog as my outlet, my friend when I felIt I had none.  I could just let my fingers fly and let the tears stream and let the pain take shape in the text box and then put it away for a while.

I don't need to do that anymore.

I have some very wonderful friends who I can turn to when I need to laugh or cry or vent or worry.  One friend in particular is amazing at giving the right advice even when I want to do the wrong thing.  I wish I could say that I do the same for her but maybe that will come in time.  

I have another friend who hit her bottom recently.  Who spiraled down until she was but an empty shell of herself and she didn't recognize herself let alone what she needed to do.  She is now making baby steps in the right direction and I'm seeing the battle that I have overcome.  I WAS where she is.  Maybe circumstances are not the same and the outlet was not the same but I have been in that place of absolute confusion and misery and hopelessness and I have overcome it.  I HAVE!

Yes I take medication to help sustain this place where I am right now, but I got here myself.  And it feels absolutely amazing.

So dear blog, I love you and I miss you and I hope to continue to write in you when I feel inspired, but I don't need you anymore... I have my life back.