Saturday, December 15, 2007

Now that i've had time to think

In working just those couple weeks I have gained a new understanding of working mothers. Maybe not a new understanding really, but I have seen that what I keep saying really is the truth, at least in my eyes.

Y'all miss out SO much! It breaks my heart! I wish no mother had to work outside the home, I really do and I definitely cannot understand why one would choose to if other options are avaialable.

So, I get down on my knees and thank the good lord that he has offered me the choice, even if it means inconvenience sometimes, even if it means we don't eat at fancy restaurants, we don't drive fancy cars, and sometimes we get a little strapped for cash and have to rent a movie instead of visiting the theater. I thank God that he has given me the understanding to see clearly my needs vs my wants and the selflessness to put my wants aside for the greater good of my family.

I love being a stay at home mom. I love the laundry, the whining, the fights, cleaning up the puke (ok, maybe not so much there) and I'm grateful that I have this beautiful life that isn't always.

I'm grateful. Eternally grateful. Who knows, maybe I am less of a person because I'm NOT supermom and I couldn't do it all, I couldn't work and still feel as though I was giving 150% to my kids. I don't know how anyone can. But you know, if working 40 hours a week and missing the little moments is what makes a supermom..... I gladly bow out of the running for that title.


Katie said...

Just remember that just because we are mothers does not mean that we can't have passions for anything besides motherhood.

Consider all the jobs in this world that are done by those who are mothers themselves. The nurses that take care of your children when their sick, the doctors that miss their childs play to deliver your baby or help someone else out.

Don't pity us and feel sorry for us because we feel strongly about leaving our homes, our children, our families- so that yours and so many others can be safe, happy, and healthy. We have a passion- just as you do about being a stay at home mom. We have a passion to care, to hope, and to give faith. We KNOW what kind of sacrifice that we're giving, so be thankful, and perhaps grateful that there are women out there who have passion and drive, who take time away from their families to help yours.

I choose to work because I am PASSIONATE about taking care of people in their sickest moments. To hold your baby and rock them when you can not be there, even though it might bring twinges of sadness. But I know , while I am helping my daughter is fast asleep, warm in her bed, dreaming of the fun things we did that day, and all the more fun things to come.

All mothers share a passion in their children, and some are willing to take that step out of the home to continue on with their passions in their lives. It doesn't make us bad mothers, but teaches that it takes all kind of people to make the world go around.

Anonymous said...

there is a saying "don't wish it was easier, wish you were better" and that runs through my head each and every day, for I am a working mother. I have a 40 hour a week job, and then come home and work the rest of the night with my children. We have family dinners, we have game time, coloring book time, prayer time, story time.

Trust me, in a perfect world I wouldn't work, but the fact of the matter is, if I didn't we would be living on the street. Yes, I have a husband and he works, but consider this... we live in a 42k home with 1104 sq ft, with our five kids and four pets. (I have a strong mothering gene.) We drive a 1997 Ford Econoline Van and a 1995 Pontiac Transport. My kids are outfitted with hand-me-downs, clearance rack clothing and clothing I buy second hand. So, as you can see, we don't live high off the hog. We are barely making ends meet.

I have to give up 10% of my salary off the bat so that the baby boomers can retire.(I am a government worker, I don't pay into Social Security, so I don't know what it would be in a private industry) In addition, so as to not ask the state to write off some of our medical expenses (deductibles and out-of-pocket expenses) I carry extra insurance that pays us for ER visits, and yearly exams. Since two so far have to have braces, we carry double insurance because finding 4000 for the braces would not ever happen.

In addition to all that I do, it is my belief that I have to do my part to make the world a better place, so I throw myself into working as an elected official for my union, serve on the school board and as a treasurer for the school band. I do what I can because parents who are involved in their kids activities show they care.

on top of that, four of the five are involved in bowling, band, hockey, baton, cheerleading, dance, and basketball because they have to figure out their talents too.

So trust me, I am eagerly waiting to 57 when I can retire, but in the meantime, working a full-time job doesn't mean that I am allowed to slack off as a mother. I do 4-5 loads of laundry a night, check homework, and talk to my children just as a stay at home mother does. On Saturdays we scrub the house down. Sure, I wish I could cook elaborate dinners every night instead of bologna sandwiches and mac and cheese.

I know there are working mothers who come home and then ignore their children. I see it when I take my children to their games and practices. I am glad you get to stay home, but please know that working mothers work just as hard with their families making memories and creating bonds as you do.