Wednesday, May 20, 2009

I'll blog about some things that have been bugging me a bit. You see, I think people are batshit crazy. From the idiot who stole my prescription glasses at the waterpark to the lady at the clinic this morning wearing bright yellow pants and a winter coat in 80 degree heat. People are crazy.

But some people take crazy to a whole new level. There are a few things that I just don't understand. I guess maybe I wish I had nothing better to do with my life than think of absolutely asinine things to define me, ways to make me different. But I don't. What am I talking about? Well in no real order, here are some things I've noticed lately that make me go hmmmm.

Conditioner only hair care- At first I really thought this was a joke. Really. But no, it seems there are some people who only use conditioner on their hair and never shampoo. WHAT? For real? Apparently the idea (and I admit I didn't spend a great deal of time researching this) is that shampoo makes your hair produce more oil than it needs, so if you stop using it your hair will produce less oil and be more healthy, luxurious, whatever. Some take this a step further and don't use any products on their hair at all.

Ick. Haven't you heard of DIRT? Water doesn't take the dirt out ya head dumbass. Maybe you have a few loose marbles rolling around in there already that need to be cleaned out.

Honestly though, i'll be the first to admit that in this country we bathe WAY too often. It's not good for our hair or our skin to be scrubbed so much. But there's a fine line my friend. A very fine line. No one wants to smell you when you don't bathe because you think bathing is the devil. And unless you never leave your house, don't think it doesn't affect anyone else. We smell you and see your greasy hair. Get some 99 cent suave, I don't care. Just use freaking shampoo.

Next is the "We only eat whole foods" group. K, nuts and berries only go so far. And for shit's sake stop blogging about it. We don't care that you eat turds and berries for lunch with a little flax seed sprinkled on top. It looks disgusting, I'd be willing to bet it tastes disgusting, and if you think your family is going to live forever and be running marathons in their 90's because if it you are off your freaking rocker. And you know what? Your kids are going to be PISSED off when they go to that first birthday party without you and get McDonald's and chocolate cake. Pissed off I tell you.

Again, I'll be the first to admit that in this country our diets tend to be atrocious. But seriousely? Spending rediculous amounts of money to buy cous cous and sticks and rocks to eat? S-T-U-P-I-D

Family cloth- For those of you with weak stomachs you might want to skip over this part. Seriousely.

Cloth diapers are one thing. Cloth diapers are safer, cheaper, cuter, and well just better. However, some don't stop there. They wear washable menstrual pads and *gasp* washable TOILET PAPER. Tell me, how many of you think it wouldn't be too bad to wash your husbands shit rags? GROSS. Toilet paper isn't that expensive and is biodegradable. USE IT.

And something that I find absolutely rediculous that isn't even connected to the "crunchy" scene. French tipped toenails. I cring every time I see someone in flip flops with a french manicure on their toes. And even worse? One day while perusing the nail polish aisle I saw PRESS ON TOENAILS. Oh my god....


Kate said...

ha ha ha... you know, I'm actually a conditioner only gal. I have really bad/dry skin on my scalp, and a friend suggested it.

For the first MONTH after I stopped shampooing, it SUCKED. My hair was a big fat grease ball and even though my DH said it didn't smell? It totally did, I think.

After that, though? Man, my hair looks AWESOME! I "wash" it with conditioner 3 times a week (meaning I scrub it into my scalp and rinse, rinse, rinse), and "wash" once a week with baking soda which removes dirt and smells. (The conditioner removes smells, too.)

My hair is MUCH happier, my scalp is thanking me PROFUSELY by not flaking, and I SWEAR I don't look like a grease ball or smell.

It took a lot to convince me, but once I got through the first 30 days? I've been a happy camper!

So, yeah, it's weird, but it's much better than my flaky ass scalp I had going on. :)

Kat said...

See but the baking soda is the trick. Baking soda ROCKS!


Crazy Housewife said...

Kat Kat Kat...

I think I know who you're talking about in regards to the flaxseed and CousCous, and you TOTALLY crack me up with that. I couldn't agree more!