Writers block

I've just been so uninspired lately. It's sad really. I'm generally so passionate about things, about life and I'm just not these days. Maybe it's a combination of being busy, being slightly depressed, being sick to death of cold and snow........ I don't know. Maybe I've just lost the will to fight.

No, that's not it. I will never lose the will to stand up for what I beleive is right, sometimes though, I wonder if I'm just wasting my breath. I know I can't fix the world and I know that not everyone on this planet is going to think like me or see my point of view. But the way people live and act or lack thereof just isn't good enough.

I don't see myself as superior. Far from it as a matter of fact. I, at 31 years old, still have an enormous amount of learning to do about life. I am learning more every day and every little bit of information I receive is logged in a file in my brain to be sorted later. Maybe that's my problem lately, not enough sorting has been going on.

Monday was Alex's 2nd birthday. I failed at it. I had planned this whole thing, bringing helium balloons out to the cemetary and tying notes to the strings from the kids and Craig and I and letting them fly to heaven, much like we did at his funeral. When the day came to actually do it, however, I froze. The thought of going to the cemetary became overwhelming to me and I just couldn't make myself do it. What the hell my problem is I don't know. I haven't been there in like a year and a half........ A YEAR AND A HALF! Seriousely, what the hell is the matter with me?

If you have a smartass comment about it please keep it to yourself. If you have something constructive to say I welcome it.