Friday, May 25, 2007

Dig a little deeper

Over to the right of my main page in the "about me" section I state that this blog will likely sometimes piss you off and that's what I'm after. Why would I be after such a thing when I so fiercely wish for us to support our fellow women? Seems like hipocracy doesn't it? Well, it isn't my friends.

I WANT this blog to fuel fire. I want people to read it and think about thier lives, thier decisions, and the future for thier families. There are too many parents in the world who are sabbatoged by friends and family telling them that they HAVE to both work to give thier children the finer things in life, that formula is "just as good" as breastmilk so when the going gets tough, give them a bottle. So these women go to work, they buy formula, and they feel like they are doing what is right for thier families even though deep down they feel forced. I want them to read this and think "you know what? Maybe it IS ok for us to cut down to basic cable, trade the Yukon in for a cheaper vehicle, cut down our eating out so that when our children walk in the door after school they are greeted by a parent. Maybe it IS ok to say "no, formula is not as good as breastmilk and my child will be fed breastmilk, end of story". Maybe, just maybe it's ok. Sometimes just hearing (or seeing) someone else say it's ok is all it takes to empower people.

Then you have the other side of the coin. The people who with every fiber of thier being disagree with me. They feel that 2 working parents provides things for thier children that they wish they had as children. They need the security 2 incomes brings. They WANT to formula feed thier children because they truley beleive that's what is best for thier families and come hell and high water no one is going to challenge these beliefs.

Oddly enough, the second set of women are much easier for me to get along with. I have a dear reader and friend who is one of these women (not necessarily disagreeing with everything I beleive in, but some things). She and I disagree but our friendship hasn't faltered over it ever. She and her husband both work full time, thankfully thier 2 sweet children are cared for by thier grandmother and not daycare, and they have a beautiful home that they love (or at least I think so!) Even though I disagree with her beliefs, I respect them and I respect her security in her decisions.

Does this blog critisize people? Of course it does. You can't have strong opinions about intense subjects and NOT light a fire under some butts. Especially when it comes to parenting. Of all the things you can disagree with passionately, parenting is one of the taboos. I myself take offense when I read an article talking about large families overpopulating the earth, or what-not but being secure in your beliefs and decisions is, at the end of it all, what it's all about.

I currently stand to lose a good friend over my opinions in this blog which saddens me but I won't apologize for my beliefs. Please, anyone disagrees with me I'd love to hear it, but rather than name calling why not educate me instead. Tell me your beliefs and lets teach each other a thing or two...... or just sit down and think for a minute why you take what I say as a personal attack. Do some soul searching on the subject and you might be surprised by what you find.

More later tonight!


Bengal, too proud to post this anonymous. said...

I'm not convinced that your comments do anything other than piss people off. Pissing people off doesn't change their mind, or their decisions - therefore you probably aren't doing the world half the favor you take credit for.

Stop worrying about others and focus on providing YOUR family the best example to live by, because this isn't IT.

I once had respect for you, and lost it long ago, when you condemned me for my decision to work, provide for my family, and send my child to childcare - something you know nothing about. You are entitled to your opinions and free speech. However, you are NOT entitled to bashing others who work hard to provide for their family.

Keep trying to convince yourself Kat.

InsomniacRed said...

I have been fortunate enough to stay home with both of my girls. It is very hard to make ends meet. But we did trade our van for a car that is paid off, so now we have two cars, paid off, and we have a house to call our own with a decent yard. I did have a job over the summer while my husband was out of work, and I freaked out and quit on his first day of work because I had to drop my children off at day care for the first time in their lives. I could not stand the fact that someone else would be "parenting" my child. That is MY job. No one elses!

We do live pay check to pay check, but I hate hate hate the fact that my children would be in day care if I had even a part time job, as my husband works at a factory 6-3:30, then DJs on the weekends, they still would need day care.

I am happy I do not have to work, because I have several mental issues that need to be addressed. I honestly can not hold a job for more then three months. But, even if I could work, I still would NEED to be home with my children!

tanya@motherwearblog said...

Hey - I saw the article/news story online. Great work!

Let me know if you'd like to write something up on this for my blog. Maybe the theme could be 'what are your options when harrassed for nursing in public?"

Great job in handling this!