Thursday, October 18, 2007

Middle school to offer birth control to students

Has anyone read this story yet? If not, take a minute to do so and then come back...

I respect the intent. Really I do. As a former teen parent I can tell you that it is not fair to parent OR child to bring a child into this world when you haven't finished growing up yourself. Even the teen parents that make it tend to look back years later and realize that they wish they could have done it differently, if only in the realization that they could have given their child so much more if they had been able to grow up themself before trying to raise another person.

Having said that, I have to say WHAT THE HELL ARE WE DOING AMERICA? When the SCHOOL has to do OUR jobs.

For instance I was asked one day what the appropriate age might be to have "the talk" with kids... WHAT? Why does the word SEX make us squirm so much? If we can't say the word SEX in conversation with another adult, how the HELL are we suppose to talk to our kids about it? Say it with me people.......... S-E-X SEX. Get comfortable with it.

We shirk our responsibilities as parents it seems, right about the time they enter kindergarten, earlier if our children attend a preschool program. It seems that we walk away from them that first day of school, dust off our hands and say "whew, now someone else can do the hard stuff". It is YOUR JOB, until THE DAY YOU DIE people. I hear it all the time, teachers saying the one thing they love is when they get that one student who's parent is interested and involved in their children's education. How sad is it that it's one child.....

Now, we get to get out of "the talk" too! If our kids want to talk about sex they can go to school and talk about it, heck they can even get birth control!

Some of you are saying "but they are going to do it anyway, you can't stop that". Really? I don't buy it anymore than I buy that if you talk Joe Schmoe down from the roof he's about to jump off of, and be his friend and help him realize that his life is worth something that you've done nothing..

There is a fine line we, as parents of pre-teens and teens must walk. The fine line between being their friend and being their parent. I think if you drift too far to one side you are in trouble. We must constantly walk that line.

It's not easy. Parenting wasn't meant to be. The labor pains are just the beginning. It's silly to think that giving birth to a child is the hard part. But WE SIGNED UP FOR IT, and now a lot of us aren't stepping up to the plate.

Don't let the school confidentially give your children birth control. Don't allow yourself to be taken out of that equation, as it's one of the most important things you will ever do as a parent.

Step up America. Take the time, find the time. TALK to your kids. Open the door of communication and LEAVE IT OPEN. Let your children know how you feel about the choices you know they will face as teenagers and young adults. TELL them about your teen years, open and honest.

That way, when the time comes that they have the hard choices to make, you just might have the honor of being INVOLVED in that decision!


Stephanie said...

Bravo!!! Unless we actually discuss sex with our children in an open and honest way, they are not going to learn the truth. People want to believe that sex is a "dirty little deed" that is taboo. Yet, we as a nation has the majority or teen pregnancy and other unwanted pregnancies. If we as adults are uncomfortable talking to our children about sex, they will, unfortunately, learn about it the hard way. The results of not talking about sex is already tragic. The number of people with sexually transmitted diseases and unplanned pregnancies has gotten to epidemic proportions.

cindys_weight_loss_blog said...

i agree its important to talk to kids about sex, i have no hang ups talking about it, my problem is WHEN???

My children are somewhat socially immature, i have a 12 year old who still throws tantrums like a 2 yr old.

So what do i do?

do i assume she has the ability to understand the importance of sex and how it can affect other people??

its a hard one to work out :(

My other problem with my eldest is, no matter what i do, how many mum/daughter stuff we do, she never confides in me EVER.

It hurts a lot, she confides in my mum (her nan who lives 2 states away)

But wont come to me about anything. when my mum came and stayed she wouldnt confinde in her either.... my current thinking is to let her have access to these people and talk to them, then talk to them myself and find out whats happening (although it feels like reading a diary doing that).

Your thoughts Kat?

Kat said...

hmmm. well I guess as far as the 12 year old I would say regardless if she's immature for her age definitely talk to her. She may need that talk now BECAUSE of her immaturity if you kwim? She may prove to have less good judgement in that area on her own than another 12 year old. I would err in assuming she's mature enough to handle it rather than errin in the favor that she's not and whoops, she's pregnant at 15 you know? At least get the door open.

I'm sorry your kiddo confides in her nan over you. That would hurt me too! I'm not entirely sure how to solve that but definitely be grateful she has SOMEONE she feels she connects with that's an adult. That's something.

cindys_weight_loss_blog said...

Thanks for your pearls of wisdom kat!!!!