Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Just in case

The rag ringlets post is coming, sorry! Someone hit the cable line in my neighborhood and never reported it which led to use not having tv, net, or phone for over 24 hours! I realized in that short 24 hours that I am NOT up to living as simply as I thought I was, because I felt so unbeleivably cut off from the world it made me want to cry...... well, not quite. But close.

How many times have you said to yourself "Dagnabbit! I wish I could seduce one of those hot polygamist sect men that already have 4 wives, including my sister, but I just don't have a dress made out of a table cloth!"

Well ladies, a special treat for you. You can now, of have your VERY OWN tablecloth made dress. Sure to attract a slew of creepy old men who marry their first cousins! All for the bargain price of $48.07!

But wait, there's more! You can also, thanks to the wonderful women who put blood sweat and tears into these dresses purchase one for you, and one for your barely teenage daughter! Bring on those grandbabies/cousins/neices! Available in a variety of feminine colors such as Aqua, Peach, Lavender, and Lilac in a Poly/cotton blend. (Note: Colors subject to change pending availability of colors on the dollar Walmart fabric rack or clearance tablecloths at Goodwill)

And for the boys in your life, whom you strive to raise to be great little sexual predators just like daddy, there's the licensed FLDS overalls, trousers, and standard blue button up shirt that can also double as a prison uniform later! Talk about frugality. And for those cold days when the walk to the cult church is long, get yourself a pair of fashionable long underwear!

And coming soon to the FLDS dress website near you.... Hairstyling tips, A book: The easy way to make Tater Tot Hotdish for 20, and a 30 minute documentary on VHS entitiled "How to pimp out your daughter in 3 easy steps". (ok I made some of it up, sue me)


Anonymous said...

I have to say that made me laugh out loud.. lol..

blah said...

ROTFL! I called and read this to my mom!