Tuesday, August 12, 2008


If one dream should fall and break into a thousand pieces, never be afraid to pick one of those pieces up and begin again."– Flavia Weedn

That quote just seems to fit today in everything that is going on. It has started with trying to teach Shaylin and Jacksen to ride bike, something I've never been very good at (neither the teaching or the riding I might add). They keep falling down and getting hurt and well, that pains me. It's all very ironic since in the midst of telling them to get up and brush themselves off and start again I'm waging my own little internal pity party.

I applied and interviewed for a job last week. A great job that I would have loved and paid very well and would have been the perfect hours for me with the kids' schedules. I found out today I didn't get it.

After sitting in my room and having a good cry about the whole thing I prayed for a time and thought about the things in my life and my struggles. I reflected on the trials of the past 3 years and wondered what was so off kilter in my universe that everything I do seems to flop lately. Then I prayed and asked God to just show me the lesson in this and bring on the window that opened when this door closed.

I emailed the lady I work with at the hospital letting her know I didn't get it and thanking her for the reference and as it turns out they are hiring a new PCT on the OB unit and she and the maternity director both thought of me when discussing it! So next month I will be taking the CNA course through the tech and getting my license and will have a job doing what I love anyway.

As good as this sounds I still continued to feel a bit bitter about missing out on the job that I need now. A month or two from now is great but how were we going to financially figure things out until then? With gas prices and food prices going up the budget is tightening so much. We are doing ok but some days it would just be nice to have the extra after payday that we used to. Now add to it paying $400 for tuition for the CNA course.

Then I read a post from a lady on a message board who went to her ultrasound today and found out that her daughter has no brain and will, if she lives at all, be in a vegetative state for life, simply living because her brainstem tells her lungs to breathe and her heart to beat. She was given the option to carry to term or terminate the pregnancy.......

Sometimes I think we forget that our everyday problems aren't so bad. Our struggles and our dissapointments are just that. Sometimes we have to take inventory of what is important to us and realize that, at the end of the day, the things most important to us are right in front of us. And sometimes we are given the opportunity to realize how fortunate we are that our struggles are usually pretty benign in comparison to what someone else is dealing with.

Not getting that job wasn't the end of the world. It was a prayer that was answered differently than I expected. This new job will be perfect for me and I can't wait to embark on this new adventure.

Reminds me of a song (everything reminds me of a song hehe)

Sometimes I thank god
for unanswered prayers
Remember when you're talking
to the man upstairs
that just because he may not answer
doesn't mean he don't care
Some of God's greatest gifts
Are unanswered prayers

1 comment:

PBandJ said...

Well stated and so true! In this world of instant gratification or nothing, it is hard to build a dream and even harder to start over and be patient; this quote would be great to pass along to some of our troubled teens and even their parents.