Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Good to know!

Did you know it's ok to physically assault someone? I just learned that today. At least in our town it is.

So at around 12:30 today I'm downstairs and Craig comes down in a hurry and says "lets go". Huh? Where are we going? "To the school he tells me. S just beat Hailey up".

WHAT? I tell him to call the police (knowing the school wouldn't have done it, oh no) and get my shoes and coat on and get Nate ready.

Now S. This girl really does have some serious issues. I feel for her, I really do. Sad story of a child in the foster care system who is now living with, in my opinion, less than ideal foster parents. This child has often been seen on the corner near her home just taking her clothing off, for no apparent reason. Hailey and her hung around briefly at the end of last year until the foster mom lost her mind one day and began screaming at S while Hailey was there, so loudly in fact that people blocks away heard her, and I put the kibosh on Hailey going over there in that environment.

For the most part we had little issue with this girl or her foster family until recently. A few weeks ago she had written a note to Hailey saying some really cruel things about her foster mother and my friend and I took the note over there, in hopes that maybe if the foster mother knew some of these things, she could help this child.

Apparently the foster mother did talk to her, and that's when she began saying horrible things about all of us around town. Then a couple weeks ago Hailey had stopped home before a game she was cheering at with her team/squad/what do you call it? mates and told them to stay outside while she ran in and got something. My friend and I were talking in the kitchen and when we saw S in the living room my friend simply asked her why she had been saying those things to people. This turned into this child swearing and me telling her to leave my home where she proceeded to call me names all the way down the street.

Childish, silly things. No biggie right?

Well then my friends house got egged. She couldn't see who it was but the person looked like a teenage girl and ran in the direction of S's house, which is only about a block away from my friends. This was reported to the police but little could be done without being able to identify her. A couple days ago I told Hailey that if she happened to hear S talking about egging anyone's house to let me know.

Fast forward to today at lunch. Hailey and her group of friends were sitting in the cafeteria and Hailey asked S if she egged my friend's house. S said no, but the cops were at her house a few days ago because she had flipped out on foster mom. Oh, ok. She then proceeded to swear at Hailey and soon they went their separate ways, and headed outside.

Once outside (according to Hailey and the other girls that were out there) S came over by Hailey and swore at her and walked away. Moments later another girl, B, came over and relayed a message to the girls that Shelby was going to kill Hailey. Hailey asked another girl, J, to go over there and tell S to leave her alone and stop coming over there and J does.

A couple minutes later S comes BACK over and tells Hailey she's going to beat her up. Hailey said "you can't even catch me" and S darts at her and Hailey does in fact run faster and gets away and stands in front of a classroom window hoping if anything further happened the teacher inside would see. S was near the door preventing Hailey or her friends from getting inside and the aide was noticing nothing, as per usual. I've heard from many people that things can happen right in front of his particular aide and he has no idea. Sounds like a great use of our tax dollars!

Then S came at Hailey again and punches her in the jaw before Hailey took off running again. Hailey trips and S grabs the back of her jacket and puts her to the ground where she smacks her head on the concrete and scrapes her finger. S gets on top of her and proceeds to begin choking her. Hailey pushes S off her and Hailey's friend M tries to get S to get away from her. H gets up and is punched in the eye before she and all her friends run into the building, Hailey into the office to call us and her friends to find the principal and tell him what happened.

So, we arrive at school and Hailey is in the office, cheeks red from a mixture of tears, pain, and anger. We are told that the principal is in another room with the police officer and S and sit and wait. We see S's foster mother come in and she angrily points a finger at me while saying something I couldn't hear as the secretary leads her to where they are at.

After a while the principal comes and leads us to a conference room. We see S and her foster mom sitting outside the room and take a seat inside with the police officer and principal. They ask Hailey what happened and take their notes. I got the sense right away that they weren't entirely interested. Stupid me, I still had hope. After everything we've dealt with with this guy, I still had hope.

He asks Hailey to tell her side of the story and he and the officer write asking her to clarify things here and there as she goes and then informs her that her story differs from S's (duh!). We ask him if they have spoken to any of the witnesses and he says no. He tells us that when Hailey's friends M and H came in and found him, they mentioned nothing of her getting punched only that she was bleeding and that he felt if she had gotten punched they would have mentioned that. I disagreed thinking that they would probably blurt out the bleeding.... but what do I know. We asked them to please talk with the witnesses and maybe some of the loose ends would be tied.

We were taken back down to the office and by then Nathan was getting restless so I left Hailey in the office and drove them home, thinking I could deal with this on my own since it was obvious Hailey had been the victim in the situation. My second mistake.

So after a bit we are asked back down to the conference room and the principal informs us that he has a good idea what happened and what they intend to do and asks Hailey a few more questions. He then informs us that Hailey is the only one who said anything about any punching. We found out they had only talked to one witness and not all of them. The officer informs us that since Hailey had said that S couldn't catch her, that was taunting and if he charged S with disorderly conduct, he would charge H as well. What?!? the same charge?

Knowing that it had happened again, that the victim had once again become the accused I bit my lip and listened in disbelief as the principal told me that Hailey and S, for the next few days would be spending recess together in the library to "work this out" and in a few days would meet with the guidance counselor I informed them that Hailey would be coming home with me for the rest of the day.

When I got home and told Craig what had happened he got his shoes and coat and left. Uh oh. Daddies pissed. He went to the school and told the principal and the officer that it was a bunch of bull and it wasn't over.

I decided at that time the best thing I could do was have Hailey's injuries looked at by a doctor and further document them in that way. We went to the hospital and they sent us to the emergency room rather than urgent care and the doctor looked her over, noting the zipper mark across her neck and the bruising and swelling under her right eye. (where she "didn't" get punched) he was concerned enough to order an x-ray to make sure the bone in her cheek wasn't broken, thankfully it wasn't. She had a horrid headache and he told her that she'd have some spasming in her neck from being choked but she should be ok, just really sore for a few days. When we returned home we found that all of her friends had either stopped by or called to make sure she was ok and upon calling them back 2 of them confirmed that they HAD in fact told the principal that Hailey was punched. Once again, the principal lied and only listened to the statements he wanted to.

We contacted the police officer and told him that we would like to have charges pressed and that if that meant Hailey got a ticket as well, he could bring it on over and we would just find out what the judge had to say in court. Tomorrow we will be going to the county courthouse to file restraining orders against S and her foster mother. As far as Hailey and school Ithink she's going to be pretty sore and will have to stay home for a few days and hopefully in that time the principal thinks a little more clearly and takes action to make sure students who commit violence are disciplined and victims are protected. I can't give a whole lot of info as to our plans as far as school but to say that unless we feel like enough has been done for our daughter to be safe at school we will have to pursue other options for her education.

Off to bed, it's been a long day!


cindys_family_eveything_blog said...

kat, just a word of advice. it may be a good idea to remove this post if you intend to take legal action against S, espically since their all minors. i dont fully know where your laws stand on you writing about it on your blog, but it may just be safer legally to remove the post for now.

PBandJ said...

This is so maddening! I work with criminal juveniles, and there is no reason this kid should not be locked up right now, unless the law out there is really messed up. Take whatever legal action you can; this girl is harmful to society.